So I've decided to hop on the Buzzfeed-style-list bandwagon, and do my own list of things language students know...just because I am a teensy bit addicted to them at the moment, and I thought it would be fun to write. Everyone needs to have a good old laugh at themselves from time to time...
1) that awkward silence when you tell someone you study languages and they try out their one word on you...am I meant to laugh? Look impressed? Feign mock-ignorance? I just don't know
2) that nagging feeling that your degree is completely useless in your own country...
3) ...but also the elation you experience when you go abroad and realise there are other people who speak this language too; your teachers haven't been winding you up for the last 10 years, it actually exists
4) the resentment you feel for your parents for not getting their act together and bringing you up bilingual. I mean, how hard is it to just learn a second language?
5) realising how hard it is to 'just learn' a second language
6) that sense of superiority you get when people look over your shoulder and nod, and you know they have no idea whatsoever what you're writing. You could be writing about them for all they know
7) moaning about how ridiculous the language is with all your language friends when you're doing a difficult translation...
8) ...but defending it fiercely when a non-linguist tries to attack it. Who do they think they are? Of course the rule detailing when to use the subjunctive makes perfect sense...
9) WordReference is a gift which surpasses all understanding
10) treating languages like cards that you need to collect; 'I was thinking I might take up Russian ab initio next term...and then maybe try my hand at Mandarin...', and judging other linguists on how many languages they speak
11) knowing in a conversation with other English people that a word from another language would explain what you're trying to say much better, but not wanting to sound pretentious
12) the overwhelming desire to correct someone when they pronounce a foreign word wrong (it's 'wingardium leviosar', not 'leviosar')
13) coming out of a particularly good class where you said some amazing idiom in the target language and feeling like you're practically fluent
14) coming out of a particularly bad class where you forgot the present tense form of avoir, and considering transferring to Biology
and best of all...
15) talking to a native and having them understand, and knowing all those hours of awkward conversation classes and agonising grammar exercises were worth it
Wednesday 12 November 2014
Monday 20 October 2014
This beautiful simplicity
I've been struggling a lot recently with all the ins and outs of the Christian faith. Biblical and theological paradoxes, like how Jesus is fully man and fully God, how we are saved completely by grace not works yet should strive towards Christlike-ness, how we balance solid Biblical teaching and personal experience of God in our Christian lives…questions which often have no answer that we can possibly expect to know or understand. At least not yet.
We talked at community group about some of these paradoxes last week whilst looking at a passage in Galatians, and I talked about a mini revelation I once had when having a shower (when all the best revelations occur…well, then and when brushing your teeth, of course). My head was buzzing with different opinions I had come across about these issues, and I asked God who was right. I mean, somebody has to be…that's the way it works, right? He replied 'it doesn't matter who's right Katie. Don't worry about what other people believe and comparing yourself to them; you follow me' (just like He says to Peter at the end of John 21).
I'm not saying we should all stop discussing the Bible and the issues it raises; that's one of the best methods by which to understand it better, by wrestling with it like this, but often I get so caught up with trying to work out the 'right' answer, that I miss the whole point of the Bible. It all points to Jesus, and what He did for us on that cross. And as Isaiah 55:8 says, we can't ever totally understand God's thoughts through our own anyway…they're on two completely different planes. It's like we spend our whole lives trying to work out the exact dimensions and physical properties of the man-made box which we put God in…I think we will get to Heaven and discover it's not a square box at all, but a circular room. Or like an ant trying to imagine London, but imagining it as being underground. We have such limited experience here on earth, and I think we will get to Heaven and realise not only did we not have the right answer, we weren't even asking the right question. God must be sat there saying to us, 'what are you doing? You're going the complete wrong way! You spend so long worrying about all these minor details, you're missing the whole point of what the Bible's there for in the first place'.
As I realise when I listen to really good worship songs, our faith is beautifully simple. It's all about God paying the price for us, and breaking all our chains. Lines like 'You did it for me, you did it for love' and 'my sins are washed away'. We need only to give our lives to Him, and pursue Him whole-heartedly (maybe the word 'only' is a bit misplaced there actually). But you know what I mean, it doesn't need to be so ridiculously complicated all the time. Yes we should never stop seeking the answers, but theology and intellectual thinking is only truly valuable if it is helping us to love God more. Otherwise, it gets in the way of our purpose, and Jesus' two primary commandments…love God, and love others. Yes, love can be the most complex thing in the universe, but it comes down to this simple truth:
The Creator God loves me enough to send His son to die for me.
And I will choose to base my life around this alone, because it has always been, and always will be, enough.
We talked at community group about some of these paradoxes last week whilst looking at a passage in Galatians, and I talked about a mini revelation I once had when having a shower (when all the best revelations occur…well, then and when brushing your teeth, of course). My head was buzzing with different opinions I had come across about these issues, and I asked God who was right. I mean, somebody has to be…that's the way it works, right? He replied 'it doesn't matter who's right Katie. Don't worry about what other people believe and comparing yourself to them; you follow me' (just like He says to Peter at the end of John 21).
I'm not saying we should all stop discussing the Bible and the issues it raises; that's one of the best methods by which to understand it better, by wrestling with it like this, but often I get so caught up with trying to work out the 'right' answer, that I miss the whole point of the Bible. It all points to Jesus, and what He did for us on that cross. And as Isaiah 55:8 says, we can't ever totally understand God's thoughts through our own anyway…they're on two completely different planes. It's like we spend our whole lives trying to work out the exact dimensions and physical properties of the man-made box which we put God in…I think we will get to Heaven and discover it's not a square box at all, but a circular room. Or like an ant trying to imagine London, but imagining it as being underground. We have such limited experience here on earth, and I think we will get to Heaven and realise not only did we not have the right answer, we weren't even asking the right question. God must be sat there saying to us, 'what are you doing? You're going the complete wrong way! You spend so long worrying about all these minor details, you're missing the whole point of what the Bible's there for in the first place'.
As I realise when I listen to really good worship songs, our faith is beautifully simple. It's all about God paying the price for us, and breaking all our chains. Lines like 'You did it for me, you did it for love' and 'my sins are washed away'. We need only to give our lives to Him, and pursue Him whole-heartedly (maybe the word 'only' is a bit misplaced there actually). But you know what I mean, it doesn't need to be so ridiculously complicated all the time. Yes we should never stop seeking the answers, but theology and intellectual thinking is only truly valuable if it is helping us to love God more. Otherwise, it gets in the way of our purpose, and Jesus' two primary commandments…love God, and love others. Yes, love can be the most complex thing in the universe, but it comes down to this simple truth:
The Creator God loves me enough to send His son to die for me.
And I will choose to base my life around this alone, because it has always been, and always will be, enough.
Thursday 16 October 2014
Imagined communities
I had a seminar last week where we talked about the concept of 'imagined communities'…basically the idea that there's no such thing as a genuine community in today's society, because we have so few face-to-face encounters with people, and that all our group identities come from 'imagined' communities. For example, every time the Olympics come around everyone is glued to the TV screen and shouting encouragement at athletes who can't hear them, like crazy people…and why? Because we want Team GB - I'm starting to feel patriotic even just saying it - to do well, and because we identify with Great Britain as a nation. But how many people in Great Britain do we actually know? Less than 0.01% (and even that is assuming you know 6400 people…no one's that popular). Even the way we want to standardise, define and protect our national languages comes down to this desire to share something with others in our nation, and distinguish ourselves from other nations. It all comes down to the idea that all communities are actually products of our imaginations, formed by shared interests between members and the exclusion of outsiders, to give us a sense of belonging and security. There's no such thing as a 'real' community.
How depressing.
Much as I respect the theorists who have put forward these ideas, I beg to differ. Yes it's true that we use language, nationality and other things to create a connection with others, and have a tendency to exclude others from these groups in order to make ourselves feel more included - this is a basic human principle which we can see in social groups everywhere. But I believe I have seen and experienced a true community, where the members are bound together by the strongest connection there is, and which strives to be fundamentally inclusive, not exclusive. Someone at my church here in Exeter said the church as a body should be 'exclusively inclusive', meaning that we should be nothing if not inclusive of all people. We should strive to love each other as Christ loves us - which is a lot - but also seek to love people outside our little clique which is the church just as much, and draw them in to our unimagined community.
When we're scared, we as humans seem to do one of two things (or most of the time both simultaneously, which never works…good one guys); either push people away out of fear and an instinct to protect ourselves, or blindly reach out for someone to hold on to. But what about when the people we reach out for don't catch us? Is that why we're so quick to shut down in order to protect ourselves? How do we change that instinct?
There are many things I'm passionate about, and one of the biggest is the church and community. I could never fit all my thoughts in to just one blog post, so consider this an introduction to what I hope will be a series of posts on people, belonging, church, relationship and how we find God in all of this. I'll talk about what I love about different communities I've been part of, what I struggle with, and what I think God has said to me about it all over the years…hopefully all in a concise and non-blabbery way. Hopefully.
I hope you enjoy it :)
How depressing.
Much as I respect the theorists who have put forward these ideas, I beg to differ. Yes it's true that we use language, nationality and other things to create a connection with others, and have a tendency to exclude others from these groups in order to make ourselves feel more included - this is a basic human principle which we can see in social groups everywhere. But I believe I have seen and experienced a true community, where the members are bound together by the strongest connection there is, and which strives to be fundamentally inclusive, not exclusive. Someone at my church here in Exeter said the church as a body should be 'exclusively inclusive', meaning that we should be nothing if not inclusive of all people. We should strive to love each other as Christ loves us - which is a lot - but also seek to love people outside our little clique which is the church just as much, and draw them in to our unimagined community.
When we're scared, we as humans seem to do one of two things (or most of the time both simultaneously, which never works…good one guys); either push people away out of fear and an instinct to protect ourselves, or blindly reach out for someone to hold on to. But what about when the people we reach out for don't catch us? Is that why we're so quick to shut down in order to protect ourselves? How do we change that instinct?
There are many things I'm passionate about, and one of the biggest is the church and community. I could never fit all my thoughts in to just one blog post, so consider this an introduction to what I hope will be a series of posts on people, belonging, church, relationship and how we find God in all of this. I'll talk about what I love about different communities I've been part of, what I struggle with, and what I think God has said to me about it all over the years…hopefully all in a concise and non-blabbery way. Hopefully.
I hope you enjoy it :)
Friday 5 September 2014
A whole new tree
There's something about a new academic year which pushes children, students, parents and just general people around the world into a 'new leaf' phase. Every single year, without exception, I start September with a mad desire to better myself; to work harder (which lasts about a week before I am once again snowed under by reading and deadlines), to watch less TV (until I remember that Bake Off AND Downton are on in September, and this year there's An Extra Slice as well…what human being could stand up to these temptations?) and to do more exercise (I can't even come up with an explanation for that one, it just never happens). What I'm really expecting each year is that by some miracle I will have a personality transplant, and become a hard-working, incredibly productive girl who doesn't even know what the word 'procrastination' means. I don't just want to turn over a new leaf, I want to be a whole new tree.
You would think we would learn our lessons after a while; if we didn't stick to our resolutions last year, we almost certainly won't this year either, but no. Instead of doing the sensible thing this year and cutting down on my list of ways to better myself, I have added another one to the ever-growing group.
To actually write a regular blog.
Over the last 6 months (otherwise known as half a year) since I last posted, I have been reading a plethora of other blogs and trying to answer that age-old question, 'what makes these blogs good, and mine…let's just say, a bit less good?'. The answer, I have come to realise, is not some complicated formula or ingenious layout, but simply that they write regularly, and they write about what they know. In that light, I am not only going to try and post on my blog more than once between now and Christmas 2020, but also slim down what I actually write about. At the tender age of 20 (I keep telling people I'm almost 21 to make myself sound older, but my birthday is in reality still over 4 months away) I can't pretend to have much experience of anything really, but the two things I can at least make a go of trying to write about are:
1) being a student
2) being a Christian
So my blog is going to try and describe the ups, the downs, and the mundane in-betweens that occur in the life of a university student who is trying to get a good degree, have fun, and follow Jesus. Often it will be me trying to work out how these three things go together, and how I can get as much out of it #studentlife as I can, whilst still living the 'life to the full' that Jesus promises (John 10:10). But hopefully, I will occasionally be able to share little revelations about how life as a Christian and life as a student can work together, and how living as one of these doesn't limit me also living as the other, but actually enhances it.
So this year, my plan is not only for my blog to become a 'whole new tree', but for me to follow its example and also change for the better…or if all else fails, at least it will give me something else to distract me from my essays.
Sunday 30 March 2014
'That's my new favourite thing!'
Anyone who knows me will know that I say phrases like 'that's the best thing ever!' or 'they're my new favourite person!' WAY too much, and I also over exaggerate pretty much everything...so much that I don't think this phrase actually carries any weight any more coming from me. Pretty counter productive, but there we go.
Having said this, the reason why I continue to say it is because there are so many things I see around me that excite me…an incredible film or book or TV series, a person who inspires me, a really clever or hilarious YouTube video; I find something new every week. So to break up the serious, reflective posts I have been writing lately (sorry about that, it's just what I seem to be writing at the moment!), I thought I would share a few of my latest crazes with you, because the only thing you want to do when you find something amazing is tell everyone about it, and make them love it too!
1) Enya. The music of Enya has always held a kind of magic and mystery for me. Enya herself is Irish, and sings all the songs herself, layering her own voice to make it sound like a choir, in Irish, Latin, and even some of J R R Tolkein's languages; and she lives in a castle called Manderley, like in Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca. Many people associate it with Lord of the Rings, and for me this element of fantasy is coupled with nostalgic childhood memories, and a sense of wonderment; my Dad used to play it on long car journeys to see our family, so I associate it with open countryside, adventure and getting back to my roots. Recently I've started listening to The Very Best of Enya, which is perfect for making me feel uplifted when I'm working at uni! Some of the songs are upbeat, some are melancholic…but all are wonderful.
2) Jack Whitehall. Although I have watched so many programmes with him in now I'm starting to recognise jokes, he's a great story-teller and a fellow exaggerator, and has that unique ability to be able to truly laugh at himself and see the funny side of things. Everything he says comes out of daily life and is so relatable (think Michael McIntyre-esque) and his sarcasm and over the top description of events is completely my sense of humour. I watched the entire hour and a half of 'Jack Whitehall Live' in one sitting at uni…then I looked up, realised what the time was and quickly got on with my work. I was only meant to be on a 20 minute break.
3) Dove's Summer Glow. I have used this tinted moisturiser for a few summers now, and every time I use it people ask me where I've been on holiday; they always look very surprised when I tell them I've been to the Lake District or somewhere! If you use it every day it builds the colour up naturally, without being streaky or too orange, and then when you get to the colour you want you start using it every other day, and it stays pretty much constant right through the summer. Definitely worth a try.
4) How I Met Your Mother. Apart from being really funny, I just love the idea that the entire show is the main character telling his children about his life in flashback. I love the sense of destiny and hope in it, and the moment when we FINALLY saw the Mother for the first time in 8 seasons, after all these really subtle clues and side stories was truly momentous. And this final season is just amazing, finally getting to see Ted meet his future wife. It's so unusual to tell the story from the future backwards, but I love the way it shows how tiny little moments and decisions can change your life, and the feeling of all Ted's relationships eventually preparing and leading him towards one person. Go back and watch a selection of old episodes to develop a real love for the characters, and make sure you watch all the episodes with the clues in before watching Season 9! (yellow umbrella, that's all I'm saying.)
5) my John Lewis card. My friend Rosie discovered this gem; basically sign up online or in store for a membership card, and then a couple of weeks later your card will arrive…along with a book of vouchers for a drink and a slice of cake each month. And it's all FREE. Our initial reaction was 'what?? That can't possibly be right?!' but it really is! Rosie, Milla and I went for our March tea and cake the week before the end of term (on a side note, I can't believe my second term is over already!) and all 3 of us got a large luxury hot chocolate - the voucher says it only applies to regular drinks, but the lady who served us said it just got too complicated and so now it applies to large drinks as well! - AND a huge slice of cake (Milla even managed to find some gluten-free cake!) which would have costed about £6.50 each, but we got it all for free. Enough said.
6) About Time. I've been wanting to watch this film all term, and on my first night back at home I finally got to. It's now one of my ultimate all time favourite films that I have ever seen in my life and in the whole universe EVER. It made me laugh out loud, break down in tears (and I don't just mean a little giggle or silent tear, I mean full on hysterics and total sobbing; the kind that's only acceptable in front of your family or best friends), all the while gently feeding me a philosophical life message, without forcing it down my throat. I love Tim, I love the relationship between him and Mary, I love that the element of time travel is more of a side story than the main focus; but most of all I love this film's honesty. Cheesy though it sounds, it inspired me to live every day as though I had come back to this one especially, as if every day could be life-changing. I hesitate to use such strong terms, but I really cannot recommend this film highly enough; it's just so lovely. I can't do it justice here without spoiling it…once you've seen it, come and talk to me about it (if you have the time!) and I will tell you all my favourite quotes.
Having said this, the reason why I continue to say it is because there are so many things I see around me that excite me…an incredible film or book or TV series, a person who inspires me, a really clever or hilarious YouTube video; I find something new every week. So to break up the serious, reflective posts I have been writing lately (sorry about that, it's just what I seem to be writing at the moment!), I thought I would share a few of my latest crazes with you, because the only thing you want to do when you find something amazing is tell everyone about it, and make them love it too!
1) Enya. The music of Enya has always held a kind of magic and mystery for me. Enya herself is Irish, and sings all the songs herself, layering her own voice to make it sound like a choir, in Irish, Latin, and even some of J R R Tolkein's languages; and she lives in a castle called Manderley, like in Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca. Many people associate it with Lord of the Rings, and for me this element of fantasy is coupled with nostalgic childhood memories, and a sense of wonderment; my Dad used to play it on long car journeys to see our family, so I associate it with open countryside, adventure and getting back to my roots. Recently I've started listening to The Very Best of Enya, which is perfect for making me feel uplifted when I'm working at uni! Some of the songs are upbeat, some are melancholic…but all are wonderful.
2) Jack Whitehall. Although I have watched so many programmes with him in now I'm starting to recognise jokes, he's a great story-teller and a fellow exaggerator, and has that unique ability to be able to truly laugh at himself and see the funny side of things. Everything he says comes out of daily life and is so relatable (think Michael McIntyre-esque) and his sarcasm and over the top description of events is completely my sense of humour. I watched the entire hour and a half of 'Jack Whitehall Live' in one sitting at uni…then I looked up, realised what the time was and quickly got on with my work. I was only meant to be on a 20 minute break.
3) Dove's Summer Glow. I have used this tinted moisturiser for a few summers now, and every time I use it people ask me where I've been on holiday; they always look very surprised when I tell them I've been to the Lake District or somewhere! If you use it every day it builds the colour up naturally, without being streaky or too orange, and then when you get to the colour you want you start using it every other day, and it stays pretty much constant right through the summer. Definitely worth a try.
4) How I Met Your Mother. Apart from being really funny, I just love the idea that the entire show is the main character telling his children about his life in flashback. I love the sense of destiny and hope in it, and the moment when we FINALLY saw the Mother for the first time in 8 seasons, after all these really subtle clues and side stories was truly momentous. And this final season is just amazing, finally getting to see Ted meet his future wife. It's so unusual to tell the story from the future backwards, but I love the way it shows how tiny little moments and decisions can change your life, and the feeling of all Ted's relationships eventually preparing and leading him towards one person. Go back and watch a selection of old episodes to develop a real love for the characters, and make sure you watch all the episodes with the clues in before watching Season 9! (yellow umbrella, that's all I'm saying.)
5) my John Lewis card. My friend Rosie discovered this gem; basically sign up online or in store for a membership card, and then a couple of weeks later your card will arrive…along with a book of vouchers for a drink and a slice of cake each month. And it's all FREE. Our initial reaction was 'what?? That can't possibly be right?!' but it really is! Rosie, Milla and I went for our March tea and cake the week before the end of term (on a side note, I can't believe my second term is over already!) and all 3 of us got a large luxury hot chocolate - the voucher says it only applies to regular drinks, but the lady who served us said it just got too complicated and so now it applies to large drinks as well! - AND a huge slice of cake (Milla even managed to find some gluten-free cake!) which would have costed about £6.50 each, but we got it all for free. Enough said.
6) About Time. I've been wanting to watch this film all term, and on my first night back at home I finally got to. It's now one of my ultimate all time favourite films that I have ever seen in my life and in the whole universe EVER. It made me laugh out loud, break down in tears (and I don't just mean a little giggle or silent tear, I mean full on hysterics and total sobbing; the kind that's only acceptable in front of your family or best friends), all the while gently feeding me a philosophical life message, without forcing it down my throat. I love Tim, I love the relationship between him and Mary, I love that the element of time travel is more of a side story than the main focus; but most of all I love this film's honesty. Cheesy though it sounds, it inspired me to live every day as though I had come back to this one especially, as if every day could be life-changing. I hesitate to use such strong terms, but I really cannot recommend this film highly enough; it's just so lovely. I can't do it justice here without spoiling it…once you've seen it, come and talk to me about it (if you have the time!) and I will tell you all my favourite quotes.
Thursday 13 March 2014
Mopping the floors
I watched Bruce Almighty with my friends today; there are many amazing moments in that film which speak to me about God, but one that really stood out for me today was when Bruce is feeling completely overrun by the pressures of everything going wrong around him, and he goes to see God. Morgan Freeman (I think God will be something like Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty…understanding, loving, patient yet hilariously funny) reminds him of a promise he made to him at the beginning of the film; to help him mop the floors. And - unlike earlier - Bruce actually does it this time.
I really let stress get to me sometimes…if everything is crazy and busy, I go into superwoman mode (well what I think is superwoman mode anyway…to be honest I think it just makes me look a bit ridiculous) and try and get it all done myself. I'm like a horse with blinkers on, all I can see is the end of my to-do list, and I'm often short and snappy with people as a result. And, worst of all, I sacrifice time with God for time getting things done. But in reality, this is when I need quiet time with God most. In these moments, spending time mopping the floors (metaphorically obviously…I don't think I have ever actually mopped a floor in my life. Sorry Mum) just me and God, is the most productive thing I can do in that moment. Slowing down allows me to relax, be more productive in my busy-ness, treat people with love even though I'm stressed, and see things with God's perspective and priorities and not my own.
So next time you see me rushing around like a headless chicken, remind me to go and just spend time mopping the floors with God. That's what I really need; time with the one I love and who knows me better than I know myself to destress and re-centre. I might yell at you, and I'm so sorry for that (shamefully, my friends and family have to put up with my yelling a lot) but I will thank you later. As God says to Bruce, 'that's the amazing thing; no matter how dirty things get, you can always clean them right up'.
I really let stress get to me sometimes…if everything is crazy and busy, I go into superwoman mode (well what I think is superwoman mode anyway…to be honest I think it just makes me look a bit ridiculous) and try and get it all done myself. I'm like a horse with blinkers on, all I can see is the end of my to-do list, and I'm often short and snappy with people as a result. And, worst of all, I sacrifice time with God for time getting things done. But in reality, this is when I need quiet time with God most. In these moments, spending time mopping the floors (metaphorically obviously…I don't think I have ever actually mopped a floor in my life. Sorry Mum) just me and God, is the most productive thing I can do in that moment. Slowing down allows me to relax, be more productive in my busy-ness, treat people with love even though I'm stressed, and see things with God's perspective and priorities and not my own.
So next time you see me rushing around like a headless chicken, remind me to go and just spend time mopping the floors with God. That's what I really need; time with the one I love and who knows me better than I know myself to destress and re-centre. I might yell at you, and I'm so sorry for that (shamefully, my friends and family have to put up with my yelling a lot) but I will thank you later. As God says to Bruce, 'that's the amazing thing; no matter how dirty things get, you can always clean them right up'.
Tuesday 4 February 2014
In a relationship…a more serious post!
I have been a Christian for 8 years now, and my relationship with God - similarly to any other relationship - has been a complicated, emotional, fulfilling and beautiful journey. I most liken my journey with God to being like a marriage; I appreciate that not being married I can't really consider myself well-versed in this area (well-versed is possibly the understatement of the year…I literally have no clue), but it's the best mirror image of my history with God that I have ever come across.
Like a marriage, relationship with God is first and foremost all about love, and secondly all about commitment. Although God is the perfect partner in that He loves perfectly and never gives up on me, because I am a flawed human being, our relationship is inevitably the same. Some days I run on the buzz of an amazing experience with Him, or just a feeling of His presence and joy being so obvious in me, and these times are amazing and precious. But there are other days when God feels distant, when it's hard, and when loving God is not a nice, cosy, happy feeling…but a conscious choice. I chose to make God the first thing in my life when I became a Christian at 12 years old - I like to think becoming a Christian is like falling in love, but again I'm no expert! - but 8 years later, long after the 'honeymoon period' has finished, I'm still making that same choice every day. I choose God above fitting in with everybody else, above popularity, above boys, even above my family and friends...as the hymn says, 'all the vain things that charm me most'. But - like a marriage - as I continue to choose God and He continues to choose me, our relationship grows deeper and more meaningful every day.
When the Pevensies return to Narnia in Prince Caspian, and Lucy sees Aslan again for the first time, she notices that he has grown bigger. Aslan replies, that every year Lucy grows, he will grow also. Aslan is designed by Lewis to reflect God, and although God is unchanging, our perception of Him is constantly shifting. When I was a child I saw God through a much simpler lens than the way I seem Him now; I had different needs, and so saw different parts of His character from the ones I see now. As my focus shifts and I ask different questions of God, I find new depths of His character that satisfy my needs and questions in ways I didn't see before; God was a storybook character when I was little, then a friend, then a Father; and now, He's the first thing in my life, and He has seemed more complicated and astounding every year. In short, as I grow, my experience and knowledge of God grows too.
I keep thinking that God and I have reached our limit, that although together we have done some incredible things, that's it now. And God just keeps saying 'with my power, we can do anything'. When I was reflecting on my gap year before I came to university I remember thinking that God had blessed me so much with amazing opportunities, and given me exactly what I needed when I needed it to complete the tasks ahead, and that it couldn't possibly get any better. He spoke to me through an Olly Murs song (this is what I mean by God knowing us…He knows Olly Murs' music is the way to my heart!) which said 'we've learnt to walk but now it's time to run…'. God just keeps taking me to new places, just like it says in Deuteronomy 11 'the land you are entering to take up ownership isn't like Egypt'. As we go to new places, I have to rely on God more…and my faith grows, because He always, always comes through for me.
Relationship with God is about hard work, faith, joy and creating a history…finding how you and God fit together, learning about Him and what He's like, and discovering new and awesome aspects of His character all the time. It's the most exciting adventure I ever have or ever will go on, and this post doesn't even begin to cover how layered and meaningful it is, but I have tried my best to put words to it; I am a writer after all.
Like a marriage, relationship with God is first and foremost all about love, and secondly all about commitment. Although God is the perfect partner in that He loves perfectly and never gives up on me, because I am a flawed human being, our relationship is inevitably the same. Some days I run on the buzz of an amazing experience with Him, or just a feeling of His presence and joy being so obvious in me, and these times are amazing and precious. But there are other days when God feels distant, when it's hard, and when loving God is not a nice, cosy, happy feeling…but a conscious choice. I chose to make God the first thing in my life when I became a Christian at 12 years old - I like to think becoming a Christian is like falling in love, but again I'm no expert! - but 8 years later, long after the 'honeymoon period' has finished, I'm still making that same choice every day. I choose God above fitting in with everybody else, above popularity, above boys, even above my family and friends...as the hymn says, 'all the vain things that charm me most'. But - like a marriage - as I continue to choose God and He continues to choose me, our relationship grows deeper and more meaningful every day.
When the Pevensies return to Narnia in Prince Caspian, and Lucy sees Aslan again for the first time, she notices that he has grown bigger. Aslan replies, that every year Lucy grows, he will grow also. Aslan is designed by Lewis to reflect God, and although God is unchanging, our perception of Him is constantly shifting. When I was a child I saw God through a much simpler lens than the way I seem Him now; I had different needs, and so saw different parts of His character from the ones I see now. As my focus shifts and I ask different questions of God, I find new depths of His character that satisfy my needs and questions in ways I didn't see before; God was a storybook character when I was little, then a friend, then a Father; and now, He's the first thing in my life, and He has seemed more complicated and astounding every year. In short, as I grow, my experience and knowledge of God grows too.
I keep thinking that God and I have reached our limit, that although together we have done some incredible things, that's it now. And God just keeps saying 'with my power, we can do anything'. When I was reflecting on my gap year before I came to university I remember thinking that God had blessed me so much with amazing opportunities, and given me exactly what I needed when I needed it to complete the tasks ahead, and that it couldn't possibly get any better. He spoke to me through an Olly Murs song (this is what I mean by God knowing us…He knows Olly Murs' music is the way to my heart!) which said 'we've learnt to walk but now it's time to run…'. God just keeps taking me to new places, just like it says in Deuteronomy 11 'the land you are entering to take up ownership isn't like Egypt'. As we go to new places, I have to rely on God more…and my faith grows, because He always, always comes through for me.
Relationship with God is about hard work, faith, joy and creating a history…finding how you and God fit together, learning about Him and what He's like, and discovering new and awesome aspects of His character all the time. It's the most exciting adventure I ever have or ever will go on, and this post doesn't even begin to cover how layered and meaningful it is, but I have tried my best to put words to it; I am a writer after all.
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