Just a note to say hello...

Hello, and thankyou for reading my blog! (even if you are just here for a passing visit/because you got lost/looking for something else/because I have harassed you into taking a look!) This blog really only exists because I love to write, and talking/writing is how I process and make sense of things…I have been writing stuff for years even though nobody has ever really read it, but I have set this blog up because 1) I have become slightly addicted to reading other peoples' blogs and wanted my own, and 2) because they have helped me see things differently, and I want to do the same! I hope at least some of what I've written does this for you.

From July 2015, this blog is taking a bit of a break from its usual state, and becoming a travel blog (something I never thought I, Katie Watson, would ever write, but there we go) as I embark on my adventures across the Channel, and go and study in Brittany, France as part of my degree. I hope it helps any of you who are reading it whilst planning your own year abroad, and that the rest of you reading just for the entertainment factor are suitably amused by my attempts to understand the French mode de vie!

Monday 16 November 2015

Mamma mia, here we go again...

So I've been back in France for a couple of weeks now, and thought I should fill you in on what's been going on! So first of all, my flight back on the Sunday night was cancelled due to fog in the UK, and after queuing for 4 and a half hours at the airport I was eventually transferred on to the next available flight, on Wednesday morning. This meant that I would end up missing 4 out of my 5 classes of the week, which was kind of frustrating as there almost seemed no point in going back that week at all!! That's one of the odd things about the Year Abroad: the amount of time we spend in compulsory classes is actually pretty small (for British Council and studying at least), which often makes me feel like I have no real 'reason' to be in France. Obviously the compulsory 'reason' for me being here isn't really the point, it's all about the other stuff that comes with just being in the country, and using the language: the studying is really just an excuse to be here, if that makes any sense! Anyway, I booked on to the Wednesday flight, and enjoyed a couple of bonus days at home with my parents (who I'd actually hardly seen, seeing as I had spent the week in Exeter and not with them...they're very long-suffering!!).

Lunch with my Mummy
These days were lovely, but in some ways really odd because I had geared myself up to go back at the weekend, and so it felt a bit like I had been building up to an exam which had been postponed! But I did feel a lot more ready to go back to France come Wednesday, and had had the chance to get over the worst of my Exeter homesickness whilst I still had the comforts of home around me! Inevitably I had a couple of panic moments when I arrived back: getting back on the bus going back the other way for another 7 weeks was not easy, but in fact the first few days altogether were much better than I had imagined they might be! I couldn't help but compare it to the last time I arrived in Rennes, terrified and knowing I had an uphill struggle to create a routine and some sort of normality, and I realised how much more settled I was this time! I had a routine, I knew people here, and I had done all the stressful and scary admin/settling in stuff already. Plus, I realised I only have a couple of empty weekends until Christmas: all the others were taken up with fun trips and visits! The weekends are often the most difficult days because they're really long (I don't have classes on Fridays and Mondays) and whereas normally I would be thrilled about having extra time to do fun things and see friends and family, I have a much shorter list of these things here that I can fill my free time with, so unless I actively plan stuff to do, I can get to Tuesday morning feeling bored, unproductive and pretty lonely. One such exciting event I had planned was dinner with Ellie and another girl from Exeter who is doing British Council not far from Rennes: we were at the restaurant for hours eating and drinking sangria, and reminiscing about life in Exe!

Amazing food and cocktails, and lots of laughter: perfect dinner date
Ellie and I ended up going for crêpes the night before as well, completely spontaneously...basically we were looking at restaurants and getting really hungry, and neither of us could be bothered to cook, so I suggested we go to Crêperie Sainte Anne (my favourite one), as Ellie had yet to sample their amazing crêpes. And as we tell ourselves every time we feel like maybe we go out for dinner too often, Exeter specifically tell us to work on our intercultural competence over this year, and really absorb the local culture...how can we do that if we're not eating crêpes regularly? It's as essential to our degrees as grammar exercises and essays. Anyway, they were insanely good, as always.

We were beyond hungry at this point
So that was my first week back! The weekend was pretty busy too, doing washing and shopping and making biscuits for church on Sunday as I was helping out with the kids for the first time, which was so much fun. I was slightly worried that I wouldn't be able to understand them/they wouldn't be able to understand me, but it was completely fine, and they were so hilarious and welcoming. It was so refreshing to spend time with them and look at life through their eyes, and be reminded of how simple everything really is!

That brings me on to Week 2, which was less great. I just started feeling really homesick halfway through the week, and struggled to get myself out of that...possibly because in the first week I'd managed to keep myself busy and stave off homesickness for the most part, but then as last week was much quieter my mind drifted towards home more often! But I felt better towards the end of the week and much better today as I got on with getting things done and organising life again...hopefully this week will be better!

Finally, I'm sure many of you will have seen my brief Facebook updates from my trip to Paris this weekend, but I will also be writing a post about it all soon to talk about it in a bit more detail. So until then mes amis!

Sunday 8 November 2015

Homecoming

I need to apologise to you all, dear readers, for being completely MIA in the last month. Nothing disastrous has happened, in fact quite the opposite: I have actually begun to settle in to a regular routine here in France, and as the constant newness started to go I just felt like there wasn't as much to write about! And then I was at home for Reading Week and super busy, and just enjoying being back with my family and friends, so again my blog took a bit of a back seat. So now that I'm sitting here having finished my first week back in Brittany for stage 2 of my year abroad, I decided it was about time I update you all! I'm going to split the last few weeks into two separate posts: this one will be about the last week of stage 1 and Reading Week, and then I will do another post in the next few days about my first week back. Here we go!

So the last week before I went home really dragged to be perfectly honest. I had a fairly empty weekend which I generally don't like, as ironically I often end up being very unproductive if I have no set plans! I did eventually manage to get some things done like washing, present buying and scanning grant agreements back to Exeter, but that 4 day weekend can be an absolute killer unless I really make an effort to keep myself busy! Ellie and I did use the time to make a slightly pale lemon cake though...despite not having any scales, not knowing how to convert the oven temperature, and completely guessing which of the many French flours was equivalent to self-raising.

Desperate times...

The finished article

Once I got to Tuesday it started to speed up a bit as I had lessons for the rest of the week, and then I was busy packing and getting everything ready to go home. It was a weird week, because on the one hand I was so excited to go home, and so proud that I had made it so far, but it felt like the week before Christmas: I've literally never known time go so slowly!

I wrote a few thoughts down the night before I went home, and thought I'd share a few of them with you here. My overwhelming feeling was pride (and not in the usual not-so-great sense, for once). I couldn't believe I'd actually made it to the end of that 7 weeks without having to go home or having a total breakdown, and the sense of achievement I felt in boarding the plane almost made all the difficulties worth it, just for that (I said almost). I was also unbelievably grateful to God for His incredible faithfulness in sticking with me through the hardest times, and never giving up on me or leaving me, and for carrying me through. It was such a massive moment for me, because I had done something I honestly believed I couldn't do, which I had been dreading for years, and which truly pushed me to my limit. I would say that's the biggest thing I've learnt so far from my YA: that I am stronger and tougher than I thought I was, and that my God is bigger than I thought He was. As I sat in Costa at Southampton airport on probably the worst morning of my life, throwing up every five minutes and shaking, the thought of getting on a plane to come home again in almost 2 months seemed totally unattainable. I don't think I'm over exaggerating (which is rare for me) when I say that nothing in my life has ever seemed more impossible. But, finally, it was done. And words can't really describe how I felt, to be able to say that.

My friend sent me this quote with a few others before I came to France, and although I really liked them at the time, I don't think I truly understood their depth: but this one summed up my feelings on that day perfectly.

"It always seems impossible until it's done"
Nelson Mandela


The seat in Costa where I sat 7 weeks ago, trying not to be sick
---

Anyway, after that deep and emotional reflection, on to the fun stuff!! My journey got off to an interesting start, in that I was stopped at French security and asked to unpack my suitcase, which was fairly terrifying, and also really annoying because my bag had been packed and repacked very precisely to fit everything in (I felt a bit like Monica in this clip). So the security unpacked all my stuff while I tried not to weep at the prospect of having to get it all back in...and then he came to the biscuit tin (I had bought my Mum a really cute French biscuit tin as a present. Back to the story) which - as I was so tight on space - I had packed full of underwear. I then had to try and explain to him (in French) that yes that was a biscuit tin, but no it didn't have biscuits in, but in fact my knickers and socks, because my case was so packed. I'm pretty sure he, all the other security staff, and all the other passengers thought I was crazy at this point. He proceeded to unpack all my carefully folded knickers, before saying that yes that was all fine and yes I could repack my case. It then took me about 15 minutes to get it all back in, and the guard had to come back over to lean on it whilst I zipped it shut. Not my finest or most dignified hour. Moving on swiftly.

 So I was slightly concerned I might break down in tears when I got to UK Border Control (that's one of my favourite bits of coming back in to a UK airport...the staff always seem to be so friendly, and make me very glad to be back!) as I often get a bit emotional even after just a few days away! I felt myself tear up a bit when we landed and I saw all the signs in English, and a massive 'Welcome to Southampton' sign, but luckily I managed to keep it together, even when the Border Control person asked me if I had been on holiday: I managed to hurriedly reply 'no actually I'm studying out there and I'm home to see my family and friends' without choking. In fact, I managed to hold it together until I came through arrivals and saw my Mum. And then I cried. But it was OK: it's not the first time I've cried in Costa, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Back on home soil at last!
After a lovely 24 hours or so at home catching up with Mum and Dad, we were on the M4 to the West Country, and I was at last reunited with my housemates in Exeter!! It's probably not surprising that there was a part of me that worried whether it would be the same when I got back. They had all been living together for almost 2 months while I was in another country, and I must admit I was a bit nervous that things would feel different, or that I would struggle to go back to our uni life after everything that had happened in France, or that they would have moved on without me. Luckily, none of those things were true. We just picked up where we left off, and after half an hour of chatting in the kitchen and then at the pub down the road (which we meant to go to all last year but never actually made it to!) I was reminded how lucky I am to have these people in my life. Super cheesy I know, but then this has been a pretty emotional post throughout, so I thought I'd continue the theme. As far as I felt I had come in France, this group of crazy British students know me better than almost anyone else, and I realised how much I had missed being able to be 100% myself with people who completely share my sense of humour, know all my little quirks and who I have so much history with. Cringey as it sounds, I really felt like a puzzle piece that had been put back in its rightful place!!

The whole week was just amazing: I had told myself that I wouldn't worry about France or put pressure on anything, but just love being back, and I did. I went out for way too many lunches and coffees, and did almost nothing productive, but I had - quite simply - the best week ever. I loved just doing normal things with my friends like going to CU, watching films, having coffee in our favourite places, going up to campus and just hanging out in each other's houses chatting or working (well they worked, I distracted them). I took a woefully small number of photos, but this was mostly because I was so busy enjoying myself that I forgot to take any more! But here are a couple that I did take:

Lunch with the gals

Beautiful Exeter

Tea with Jules

Dragging the boys to a cute teashop
So there you have it! All in all, a week that lived up to my ridiculously high expectations: to have the chance to go back to my wonderful university life when my brain had forced itself to let go and move on (to an extent) in order to really embrace France was such a gift. I felt all week like I was living on bonus, borrowed time, like someone who had been out of uni for years and wished they could go back to their heyday. I felt so lucky not only to have had this life, but to have the chance to appreciate it even more than I did last year, because I had lost it and then found it again.

Roll on February half term!!

Monday 5 October 2015

French snapshot 2

So here we are again...the end of another week (I have now completed an entire month of my year abroad!) and another French life post. Enjoy!


Cultural Curiosities:
  • things closing. Literally, things close at the craziest times here! I knew pretty much all shops close on Sundays in France, so I was prepared for this and bought milk etc. on Saturday ready, but have been caught out many other times with the weird opening hours of other places. For example, I went to the bank a total of 3 times to try and get my bank card, and discovered not only is it closed on Sundays, but also Saturday afternoons AND all day Monday too. Now Saturday I can vaguely understand, but Monday?! What is going on. Some places also close on Friday afternoons, such as the department secretary's office at uni...so basically, the French have a 3.5 day working week it seems
  • Freshers, and student life in general. This is a pretty big difference, and mostly stems from the fact that most French students don't move away from home to go to uni, and so student life is much more like school. People go to uni in the day, and many go home to their parents in the evening: when I tell French students that I live with my friends at uni, and my parents live two and a half hours away, they find it really weird. Students just don't have the same expectations of uni here: they seem to see it mainly as simply a continuation of their education, whereas for us it's a chance to move away and gain independence, and a completely different way of life. This is probably most obvious in the lack of societies and events at French unis compared to British ones, and just the fact that life is a lot more 'normal' here when you're a student, as opposed to the all-consuming, once-in-a-lifetime, emotional roller coaster experience that I have experienced. I have to say, studying somewhere else has made me realise why so many foreign students come to Britain to study: British unis really are the best. They just are. I take pride in wearing my Exeter hoody round campus every once in a while, just to feel extra patriotic
  • weighing vegetables. In supermarkets here you have to weigh your vegetables yourself on a little scale, and then stick the price on the bag before taking it to the till. This caught me out first time I did it, and I had to walk back down the queue with my head down all the way back to the fruit and veg section so I could weigh my 2 carrots
PS Last time I wrote about the curiosity of pedestrian crossings here, and how I had stopped thanking drivers when I crossed because no one else did. I thought you would all be pleased to know, I have now started doing it again, because I just think it's nice. I'm waving my little Union Jack as I cross the road (metaphorically, obviously) and trying to change the world, one wave at a time


Linguistic Lessons:
  • prayer words. Praying in another language is something I hadn't really thought about before I came to France, but it's quite difficult! Mostly because we tend to speak slightly differently when we're praying, which is hard to replicate in a second language, and also because I realised I didn't know a lot of key prayer words! But having done some vocab research, listened lots to other people praying in French, and done some practise myself, I think I'm improving...my prayers don't consist of me repeating the same few words and phrases again and again at least!
  • my conversation is definitely better already: I can slip in to speaking French much more easily, and am now much better at small talk and just generally chatting in French. I was very pleased when 3 people commented one Sunday at church on how good my French was! I also find it easier to think in French, and do that sort of 'running commentary' thing we do when we are doing something with other people...although I definitely still need some practise at that!
  • understanding passers-by. I always used to find it really hard to understand snippets of conversation in French when I was back in the UK, but now that I'm here and so used to hearing French being spoken I've found that I'm sort of 'tuned in' all the time, and so can pick up phrases without really listening or intending to like I can in English, which is very exciting!

Things I'm grateful for:
  • church. My church here has just been fantastic: everyone has been so friendly and welcoming, and I already feel really at home there. I'm so grateful for people's openness and willingness to chat, my life group, lots of French practise, and also lots of English speakers for a bit of a break! They're quite simply brilliant, and probably my biggest answer to prayer.
  • printing. Some of you may know that printers and keys are my two arch nemeses (is that the plural of nemesis? nemeses?), but in the last couple of weeks I have discovered not just how to print on the initially insanely complicated uni printers, but also how to scan and print, AND how to scan and then email a document! I literally never thought I would ever learn how to do these things, and had seriously started planning how I was going to cope writing everything out by hand and then having to send it all by post, so I'm so happy I somehow managed to do it!
  • letters. I have received a few letters in the last couple of weeks, and they're just such massive encouragements: looking in our postbox and seeing a letter or finding one on our kitchen table with 'Miss Katie Watson' written on the envelope, just completely brightens up my day! And I love having a legitimate reason to write to people and use my sealing wax and stamp, so that's a bonus. Hint hint people.

Saturday 26 September 2015

Exploration...and lots of photos!

Today Ellie and I decided to take advantage of probably one of the last sunny days before winter starts to kick in, and go for a picnic in one of the parks in Rennes. We got the metro to Sainte Anne in the centre of town, and then walked to Parc du Thabor, which is (I think?) the biggest park in the city centre (there is another massive one just outside the city, which is on my bucket list!). I had seen photos of it on Google and it looked stunning, and definitely didn't disappoint! It was kind of divided into sections: the French-looking section, complete with an orangerie...



And then a more English-looking section, with a big lawn and tall trees round the side...



And finally a woodland type section, with gravel paths and lots of trees, like the grounds of a National Trust house:


A random bird house


A super cute little hideaway!
I felt very French with my baguette and cheese and my little French cakes, on a picnic blanket in a park just like all the other French people around us! Except then a park attendant person came and told us that picnic blankets weren't allowed on this section of grass...whereas the section just over there was fine. It literally made no sense, but as everyone else got up to leave, we thought we probably should too!

Ellie and our picnic blanket!
After we had finished our picnic, we had a wander round the park, and then came out and explored the streets around the main entrance. We happened to come across the other garden we had wanted to visit, Jardin Saint Georges, which is in front of an amazing palace. The garden is much smaller and more ordered, but really pretty nonetheless, and the palace was stunning. It seems to be currently used as a police station, which seems a bizarre use for it!



I was also slightly confused to see what I'm convinced was a patch of chillies in the flower bed...can someone with a bit more horticultural knowledge tell me if they are in fact chillies?!


After this chili (apparently that's how you spell it) confusion, we continued wandering down to République and then back up to Sainte Anne, which is the centre of the historic bit of the city, and an area we know pretty well now! However, Ellie did show me this AMAZING chocolate shop which I hadn't seen before: rows upon rows of incredible flavours of macarons, pic n mix chocolates, biscuit boxes, little multi-coloured meringues, and pots of salted caramel...which came with a tiny silver spoon to eat it with. Or probably to spoon it onto stuff with, but I would just use it to eat the caramel straight out of the pot to be honest. I will leave you with a couple of pictures from this amazing gem of a shop, which I will most definitely be visiting again soon!



A bientôt!

Sunday 20 September 2015

The rainbow after the rain

So the last couple of weeks have been tough, to say the least. Moving your entire life to another country is really hard, no matter what your expectations, and it takes a while to adjust. I felt like I did everything I could to prepare, and tried to be as realistic as possible once I arrived, but it's still been really hard. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm miserable all the time, or that everything is awful...it's just that a lot of normal things suddenly become really difficult, and when you leave your family, friends, country and life all behind, it can be hard to pick yourself up after those things the way you would at home. Safe to say, the last couple of weeks have felt like a bit of an uphill struggle in many ways. I had been praying every day for a breakthrough, just something to really encourage me and keep me going, because I had started to feel like I was running really low on energy and finding it hard to carry on.

And today, that breakthrough came.

I woke up this morning with a sore throat, a headache, and the beginnings of a cold (not an ideal start), but I went to church anyway, planning to sleep it off later in the day. On the way there, I was listening to this song by Kari Jobe, and these lyrics really stood out to me:

"When I waited so long, when my tears were my song
With my hope nearly gone You held me God...
Your songs have never stopped
You've been singing, always singing over me"

This song is so full of joy, and I found myself thinking, 'I can't wait to be in that place again where I feel that joyful, and can truly praise Him for how He has come through for me'. I imagined myself being back in Exeter (I'm going back for a visit in just under 5 weeks) and feeling that bubble of happiness because I know He has carried me through. I've always thought I would have these amazing stories of incredible things He has brought out of this year: of how I trusted Him and He used that for His glory. But so far I don't have any miraculous stories like that. And it made me feel like I was wasting my time.

I arrived at church, and immediately someone came and started chatting to me, and she remembered me from my visit with Mum in July. I sat next to a lovely woman through the service, and another lady came to pray for me as well, so by the time the service ended I was already feeling encouraged. But after the service, so many people came and introduced themselves, and were just so friendly and interested: there was no reserve or formality, they were just so eager to welcome me in. People were introducing me to other students, and constantly coming and introducing themselves and asking me about my studies and where I was from. It turns out the woman I was sat next to works for a group called Agape, who - amongst other things - organise events for young Christians in Rennes, and she quickly asked if I wanted to be involved, and someone else came came up to me and another student and asked if we would like to be in a small group. I was really keen to get involved in church, but - as with everything else over the last few weeks - I thought I would have to go through a long and arduous journey in order to get it. The relief of having someone else take the initiative, and do all the organising on my behalf, was incredible. The combination of feeling so included, people's friendliness, and just the fact that people would literally be lining up to introduce themselves or would readily join in a conversation to make sure they didn't miss saying hello, meant that I left really feeling like I was on Cloud Nine. I know it sounds like such a small and insignificant thing, but I had spent weeks feeling like the awkward foreigner, and feeling so frustrated that everything was so hard and seemingly everyone was against me, that people going out of their way to include me, and not waiting for me to ask but offering help readily was honestly the most refreshing thing in the world.

As I walked away, I just couldn't stop smiling. I put my headphones back on, and listened to the song again: except this time, I really related to the words. He had brought me that breakthrough I had been praying for and eagerly awaiting, and I felt for the first time truly happy in France. I'm glad there wasn't anyone around, because I was singing along under my breath and laughing to myself all along the pavement...it was all I could do to keep myself from dancing down the road!!

This is definitely not the end of the difficulties: rather, the end of the beginning, but God is finally starting to show me what I might be doing here. And He's already taught me that hard as it is doing admin, and making new friends, and adjusting to a new culture...joy is always found in Him, and Him alone. Those other things going well all help a lot, but the only thing that has given me true joy here is a real connection with Him. If I have that and nothing else, I can be happy, but I have found that if I have everything except that, I never am. It took stripping everything else away, removing every other support, to make me realise how firm a foundation He truly is.

Sorry that this has become such a ramble, but I needed to share it, and often these kind of things are hard to properly explain!! But let me leave you with one simple thing I've learned through all this pain. Whether you know God or not, wherever you are in life, whatever you feel you need: believe. I promise He will come through for you, however long it takes.

Wednesday 16 September 2015

Lesson Number One (like a rock, you must be hard...)

This post is about my first day of teaching here in Rennes (and also a play on the words of the song from Mulan, hence the title...but the lyrics are strangely appropriate!! It's all about being tough and brave, but also gentle and at peace...something I am definitely working on learning!) It was definitely a day of ups and downs, and so I thought it might be an interesting one to write about!

I only have 5 contact hours per week; 3 hours on a Tuesday, 1 on a Wednesday, and 1 on a Thursday. And then a 4 day weekend: perfect for travelling around and exploring! So this Tuesday just gone was my first official day after the craziness of signing up for all my classes on Monday, which we just about managed! I started with a TD (aka a seminar for all you British people, except there's about 40-50 students in each class!) in Méthodologie l'oral et l'écrit, which is basically how to survive oral exams (a common method of assessment here in all departments, not just languages) and written projects, and very useful for non-French speakers like myself! However, I didn't get off to a great start.

I got to the room about 10 minutes early and saw a crowd of students waiting outside so, obviously, I joined them, but then I saw someone else going in to my classroom. Confused, I asked the girl next to me if she was waiting for the same room as me, but she said she wasn't. Slightly panicked, I knocked and went in, only to find that the class had already started and the teacher was not impressed by the fact that I was late. I was even MORE confused because according to my phone, I was still a minute early, but I was definitely in the right class, so I did the walk of shame up to the front of the class and sat down. It later transpired that my phone was 4 minutes slow, hence my confusion! Anyway, the class was fine, and being at the front actually really helped me understand everything more easily! A lot of it was stuff I have already covered in Exeter, so that was reassuring...the girl next to me even asked me for help at one stage, and, even more shockingly, I seemed to give her the right answer!! The girl the other side of me showed me what exercise we were meant to be doing so I didn't get totally lost, so overall, not too bad. Class 1, check!

I then went to the library to go over my notes from the class before my next lecture, and then left a full 25 minutes early to make sure I wasn't late again. I found the lecture theatre easily enough - double doors with a sign saying Amphi B2 next to them - and I went in. There weren't many people sat down, but I was super early, so I selected a seat near the front and sat down to wait. However later on - with just three minutes to go until we were supposed to start - there were still very few people, so I asked the girl next to me if she was here for Littérature française. She wasn't. It turned out I was actually sitting in lecture theatre 3...the double doors in fact go to two different rooms, even though there is only one sign. So I grabbed my stuff and dashed next door, to find that - once again - my class had already started. Luckily the lecturer did not stop the lecture this time to highlight my embarrassment, and I just snuck in at the back. Phew. But I now realised my bigger predicament: because I was right at the back, I couldn't hear anything the lecturer was saying, much less understand it. One hour later, I had written down a random assortment of any words I could pick up, three names, and the fact that I needed to buy and read some books: but I didn't know which ones. Needless to say, I was somewhat demoralised.

I then returned to the library to try and make at least some sense of my notes before the TD that afternoon, and discovered that the three names I had written down were (I think?) the authors of the texts I need to read, but as he hadn't written the titles down on the board, I was still really none the wiser. I actually managed to get to this next class problem-free, which was a definite improvement, and although I could hear fairly clearly and understood a good chunk, there were definitely sections I didn't get. Hopefully none of the stuff I didn't get was too important!! It didn't help that I really struggled to read the teacher's writing on the board, but I have emailed him asking for a bibliography/any key points I might have missed, so hopefully I will be up to date by next week!

Anyway, a combination of the day's dramas, not understanding a fair amount, and missing uni life at home got me a bit down during the evening...so I must admit, I wallowed. Sometimes you need to just dust yourself off and get straight back out there, but other times you need to embrace the struggles, deal with them, and gear yourself up to face a new day. Both a Skype chat with my Mum and a friend from home, and a message to some of my other friends asking them to pray for me later, and I felt ready to face another day. It reminded me of this great quote I read on Pinterest a few weeks ago: 'Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow"'. So I did...and today was much better.

So when things get tough, take a leaf out of Mulan's book: get yourself together, put a brave face on, and trust that, with a bit of help, you will eventually come out the other side. Lesson Number One.

Sunday 13 September 2015

I've survived Week 1! And French life snapshot 1

So Week 1 is done!! I can't quite believe it to be honest! So in honour of this achievement, I am starting a new segment thingy to document my YA. Every few weeks I will do a post like this, with three sections: cultural differences I've noticed, language milestones or words and phrases I've picked up, and things I'm feeling grateful for. Consider it a little look into the world of the Frenchies (hence the name). Here goes!


Cultural Curiosities:
  • organisation. This is a big one. I just, I can't even explain how illogical a lot of French bureaucracy is. And how ridiculously complicated. You know when you're nervous about doing something official like going to the bank or something in the UK, and you know it's silly, and once it's done you walk out and say 'well, that was easy!'. Those days are a think of the past for me, my friend. Only once have I even vaguely thought that here. I'm pretty sure most people in France rarely experience that feeling. I have many many more, but I'm going to give you just one example. We've been waiting all week for the uni to give us our timetables, and then the other day we discovered: we don't get timetables. The administrative people seem to have absolutely no knowledge regarding what modules we want to/can do - despite us having submitted 2 learning agreements with complete module lists on both - and therefore we have to choose our modules this week, then on Monday morning (when classes are meant to start...not sure what we do if we then discover we're meant to have a class then!) go and look on the massive emploi de temps boards with ALL the department's classes on (that's right, EVERY SINGLE ONE) and find the correct lecture, then go to each departmental secretary, inform them of our choices, and they will allocate us a seminar group. If we have a clash, we have to go back and ask to be put in a different group. No idea how they know whether we're going to classes we're actually allowed to go to (despite this relaxed system, there are still rules on what we can and can't take), or even how they know if we're going any to classes AT ALL. Anyway, that will be a fun experience!
  • pedestrian crossings. I'm not sure if pedestrians actually have right of way at crossings, because most of the time cars just don't slow down, even if you are evidently waiting to cross/have actually starting crossing. So what's the point in having them? Also, the French don't seem to wave to say thank you to drivers when they let them cross...I've stopped doing it now, because the drivers looked at me confusedly, and now I feel really rude every time I cross the road
  • bathrooms. Our flat has a toilet at one end of the flat, and a bathroom with a sink and shower at the other end. Apparently this is completely normal here, but I can't help thinking it's pretty unhygienic, and kind of weird. 

Linguistic Lessons:
  • French people talk fast, and it's OK to not understand everything. I rarely understand every word someone says to me, but that's alright. I've only been here a week, and already I feel like my listening is so much better: I can pretty much always get the gist of things, and can understand each word if I really really think about it, but then of course I miss the next bit. The point isn't to dissect every verb of tense use, but to concentrate on being able to work out the main meaning and then to respond appropriately. I find that the more I do that, the more comfortable I feel interacting in French, and the easier it is.
  • coucou and tac. These are two words that I have heard used a fair bit 'on the street' here (this is obviously not literal...I have not become some edgy, alternative, cool person since moving to France). My flatmate says coucou a lot as a sort of less formal version of 'hi', kind of like we would say 'hiya' or something in the UK. The other word is tac, which I think is less of a word and more of a sort of 'filler', like we say 'so' or 'well'. French people seem to use this in all sorts of contexts, but it seems to used predominantly when they are completing a step-by-step task, and they accomplish a stage. For example, if they are filling in a form, they say tac after they finish a section: sort of like we say 'there we go' in a running commentary as we do something. I feel like saying these things will make me sound very Frenchified, so I'm working up to using them...I'm just a bit scared I will use them wrong and look like an arrogant English girl trying to be too clever, and instead falling flat on her face.
  • the more you listen, the better your accent will inherently become. I haven't been consciously focusing on my accent or pronunciation, or been doing any specific listening practise, but just from being here I feel like I have absorbed the French accent, and I'm starting to hear and feel the benefits in my own speech (I know saying it 'feels' easier might sound a bit weird..I mean the sounds are easier to make now, for example the French 'r').

Things I'm grateful for:
  • my fantastic family and friends at home. It's true that you really find out how much you love the people you love when you're away from them, and even more so when you are going through something hard. My family and friends have supported me in the best way possible, by remembering what I'm doing, sending encouraging messages, praying for me and clearing their schedules to skype or chat to me. I would not be coping like I am without their backing!
  • our amazing mentors here in Rennes. My marraine was so happy to help out with anything, and gave me her number to text with anything, and Ellie's godmother took us for lunch and then helped me open a bank account...a complicated and confusing process which would have been much more so without her there to explain things to me! Also, my lovely flatmate, who has been so patient with my ums and ahs and grasping around for verb forms and phrases, taught me new words, and helped me understand French culture when I was confused. And she has always been there for a chat when I felt homesick, which has made our flat feel much more homely!
  • friendly French people who understand I need them to speak SLOWLY and CLEARLY. Some French people seem to have two settings when it comes to non-French speakers: carry on speaking French as quickly as you would to a native and expecting you to just keep up, or 'I'm going to speak English because I fail to acknowledge the fact that you might actually have the ability to speak my language, because you're English'. Obviously this is definitely not ALL French people, just some. And it's super annoying. So I am very grateful for friendly assistants who accept that I'm English but trying my best to speak French, bear with me and try to understand what I mean!
  • I can watch Bake Off here. And Ellie loves it just as much as I do, so I have someone to watch it with who takes it all as seriously as I do. Enough said: I'm over the moon.

I feel like the image of Mary, Paul, pastry and the tent is a good one with which to leave you...so until  the next time, mes amis!

Wednesday 9 September 2015

First post from LA FRANCE!! Days 1 and 2

Just a disclaimer: this is very much a blow-by-blow detailed account of my first couple of days in Rennes...more general posts will follow later!

Oh. My. Gosh. What a crazy few days it's been!! So much has happened that I'm not quite sure how it will fit in one readable post; I will inevitably miss some things out, so if you are a future Year Abroader/concerned family member or friend, please drop me a message so I can fill you in on more details!

So the journey was...interesting. I knew I would be pretty terrified, but I don't think I have ever felt more unsettled, ill (anxiety tends to go straight to my stomach and make me sick!) and gut-wrenchingly worried in my life. I knew I would have to deal with this year one day at a time, but at that moment I was literally having to take it half an hour at a time. I was basically a complete mess; up until departure day I had really tried to stay strong and calm and be really grown-up and controlled about the whole thing, but my resolve just completely crumbled that morning, and my Mum had to literally coax me onto the plane. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but the way I got through it was just by never thinking further ahead than I could handle, by praying, and through the unfailing strength and encouragement of my insane parents. I have rarely been so grateful for them!! This is me being terrified and trying to sleep at the airport, and pretend like it wasn't happening:

Photo 1 of my YA: general terror

Anyway, I thought that was important to say that in the interests of honesty! We got a taxi to my flat to drop off my luggage and then went to check in at my parents' hotel room, mostly because I was absolutely shattered (I got about 2 hours sleep the night before) and feeling really ill still, and just needed some recuperation time! We then returned to unpack my stuff, and I am really pleased with my room now...it's really cosy, and has lots of things to remind me of home. Basically loads of photos and fairy lights: if only I had Instagram...

Unpacking
Mood lighting on, and starting to relax

Mum then carried on unpacking (thanks Mum!) and I read some YA blogs, as I was still feeling a bit wobbly, and reading other people's experiences is one of my go-to pick me ups. Works pretty much every time! Not sure what I will do when I run out, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it (that phrase incidentally is steadily becoming my YA mantra). We had dinner at the hotel, but I didn't have much, and then I had ANOTHER panic moment as I started to think about how I was going to settle in to routine, and how different life was here, so Mum and Dad walked me back to my apartment. I then had a lovely conversation with my French flatmate until the early hours, about France, the UK, university, tea and missing home, which really encouraged me and made me feel much more at home in my flat! Of course then I started panicking that my French wasn't good enough, despite having had an intelligible conversation for coming up to 2 hours all in French, but there we go. Day 1 was done.

So that brings us on to DAY 2. I woke up feeling really thirsty due to all my vomiting the day before, and feeling a bit 'oh my goodness where am I? Wait, am I in France? Oh my goodness this is crazy!!'. But going to see Mum and Dad at their hotel chilled me out a bit, and after we had been to my local Carrefour for some basics we had a cup of tea and something to eat with my flatmate, in a weird concoction of French and English!

Mum and I making tea in my kitchen

I then went to campus to meet a friend from back home in Exeter who is also at Rennes 2 this year, and we went to get signed up for events this week. The queue took a while to get through, but we met some other Erasmus students from the UK and the US whilst waiting and chatted to them about how confusing it all was to pass the time! I felt a lot better once we had a basic timetable for the week, and having chatted to Ellie and shared our experiences, and then I went out for dinner with my parents to our favourite crêperie (still haven't eaten anywhere else in Rennes...should probably get on that!).

Mum and Dad at the crêperie

A slightly less terrified-looking me

The evening however did not end brilliantly, as I got stressed about the prospect of having to open a bank account in French and realising I didn't really have a clue how the French banking system works, so Mum and Dad came back with me again to keep me company. When I got back, I prayed and then read a Bible passage my friend from home had messaged me with earlier, telling me to read it. It was Psalm 91, and it was completely perfect for me: it really reassured me that God was looking out for me and that I could face the next couple of days without my parents, who were going home the following morning.

So there we go! My first two days in Rennes. I have spent so long wondering what these days might look like, and worrying about them, that to be finally started and getting through it all is definitely a relief, even if it's hard sometimes! It's been a complete roller coaster so far, but it's good to be ticking off the days now! Sorry that this has literally just been a list of what I've done and how I've felt, but I wish more posts like this had existed when I was getting ready to go so I could see how the first few days might be, so I thought it might be helpful! If it hasn't been, sorry. You've just wasted 5 minutes of your life. I can only apologise.

A bientôt!

Monday 31 August 2015

Exciting Frenchy things

To be honest, this list is as much a reminder for me when I can't stop thinking about all the scary things as much as it is for your entertainment, but I thought it would be good for me to write down a few of the things I'm excited about before I go so I can look back on them halfway through or at the end of the year and see how many of them are still the same, and how many I managed to achieve!!

  • the food. Crêpes, French bread and cheese, hot chocolate out of bowls, pastries, boulangeries, patisserie...and best of all, REAL BRIOCHE. Enough said.
  • kisses on the cheek. I know this seems like a really weird thing to be looking forward to, but the lovely thing about the French greeting is that it completely avoids our awkward English I-don't-know-you-but-now-I've-been-in-this-group-too-long-to-introduce-myself pauses: if you don't know someone in a group, you introduce yourself there and then, and so no one ever feels like an awkward outsider. Plus you always know how to greet people, and there is something about the physical contact that makes you feel immediately closer to people. And it looks so European and sophisticated!
  • how adventurous it will make me look. I am generally terrified of change and new things, so the idea of having exciting Facebook photos and interesting stories from my travels, and being able to compare these with other brave travel-ly people is very exciting! And even when I come home...being able to just drop these stories in to conversation by saying 'well when I was living in France', because I was actually brave enough to do it! And I am SO excited to be able to explore Brittany and Paris and then visit my other YA friends and see new places. I just love the idea of seeming like one of those fearless people who travels loads and has amazing anecdotes. So not true, but that's what it will look like!
  • knowing France in the kind of way you only can if you've lived there. Being able to show my friends and family round, knowing the best cafés and shops, being able to order things fluently in French and explain the culture and etiquette to them, and then being able to talk about my YA when people talk about France and explain what it's really like
  • finding my routine. People keep telling me 'it will be amazing, don't worry', and I keep thinking 'but how do you know that??'. The truth is, they don't, but one thing I know for sure is that even if it never becomes amazing, it will become normal. I will find a weekly and daily routine, find my friends, have my room as a little safe space with all my homely things in it, get involved with church, and get used to speaking French all the time, and then once I've settled into a bit of normality I will know that the hard bit's over and I've done it!!
  • being bilingual!! I know this is a somewhat obvious one seeing as I'm a linguist and this is the whole point of my YA, but I honestly can't wait to be able to use all those little native-sounding idioms and chatter away easily in French without sounding really foreign
  • feeling really British. Coming home and watching British TV programmes or seeing British news stories or products or something whilst I'm abroad and being able to explain them to my French friends, or explaining an English phrase or custom and feeling really English and patriotic

These are the things that encourage and excite me when I feel a bit overwhelmed, and remind me how amazing the year abroad can be! I can't wait to get a few weeks in and begin to see these things start to happen!

Friday 21 August 2015

Pre-departure thoughts and feelings

As I write this, I have just over 2 weeks until I leave for France. Can't quite believe I just wrote that...how has this happened??! I can't believe how quickly time has gone, and that I'm already at the point of imminent departure for my year abroad. There was definitely a time when I honestly didn't think I would ever get this far; I really thought I would have chickened out by now. But I haven't!! So that's something...well done me, the hard part's over. As if. Anyway, I just thought I would share with you a few of my thoughts and emotions leading up to leaving. There's so much I could say about this, but I will try and condense it in to one vaguely readable post!

Generally I'm not quite as scared as I worried I might be at this stage. Things are starting to slot in to place and I'm crossing more and more things off my to do list, and although all these things do make the whole thing seem more real, they also help me to start imagining what life might be like in France. And it has to start feeling real at some point, preferably before I actually touch down at Rennes airport, just to save me from having a complete breakdown before we even leave the plane.

One of these 'real' things is the buddy scheme my uni in Rennes has in place, whereby each international student is allocated a marraine to help them with practical things and generally to settle in during the first few weeks. The word marraine doesn't really have a direct English translation; the closest we have is 'godmother', which just reminds me of Cinderella and makes me imagine my godmother as having a fairy wand and crown. Which isn't an unpleasant association...I love Cinderella, but chances are my godmother won't wear a crown on an everyday basis. But despite this, we have had a few email exchanges and she seems so lovely and friendly, and has offered to come with me and do all the scary things like opening a bank account and things so I don't get too confused!! So that is just amazing, and I'm very excited to meet her and her other 'godchildren' when I arrive; as well as me, she is also going to be looking after two girls from Brazil and Spain, which is exciting! This may also give me an opportunity to keep up my Spanish when I'm out there, just so I don't completely forget it all!

I am also FINALLY at the point where I have pretty much finished my pre-departure to-do list, having signed and sent my landlady the housing contract, filled in and sent my Erasmus forms to Rennes, re-applied for student finance, booked my flights, and bought things for my flat/ordered my photos to decorate my room with. All that's left is to organise how I'm going to get my keys to the flat, get Exeter to sign my Erasmus forms once Rennes return them, and see if I can take my guitar on the plane with me. The last one of these is obviously the most important; what will I do without Ed (named after Ed Sheeran) next year if I can't take him?! Stressful times.

So all this is very exciting, but what do you do when all the admin is done and all that's left on the list is to actually go? This is the bit that is currently freaking me out. I'm really enjoying being at home and just chilling with my family, but the idea of having to do this in 2 weeks is constantly there, and it is getting harder and harder not to worry and stress about it. There are some things I'm excited about, and a big part of me just wants to get on and do it now, and get the first few difficult weeks done, but still. Moving abroad is scary. Here's how I am trying (and probably failing) to cope:

  • skype. Both with my uni friends who are staying in Exeter next year, and those who are also going abroad; they offer different points of view, but both help you keep it all in perspective. Your friends at home reassure you that they won't forget you as soon as you leave, and your friends who are also going abroad remind you that you're not alone
  • ThirdYearAbroad. Similarly, the blogs and advice on this site encourage you that thousands of other students have done this before you and survived, and you can do it too
  • enjoy home. Make the most of watching your favourite films and programmes (ahem, Bake Off) with your family, going on days out together, and generally enjoying your last couple of weeks in the green and pleasant land that is England
  • don't think about it when you're feeling especially rubbish/about to go to sleep. I find that when I'm feeling worse than usual, for whatever reason, I tend to wallow and then think about how awful France is going to be, which is untrue, counter-productive, and totally unhelpful. It builds negative associations which you just don't need, and worrying about it as you are about to go to sleep just keeps you awake unnecessarily; again, not particularly helpful
  • I have a couple of key Bible verses which I cling to when I can't remember why I'm doing this, or start thinking I won't be able to get through it; sometimes all you can do is repeat them to yourself over and over until they start to sink in. My go-to ones are Isaiah 43:2, Psalm 46:1-2  and Romans 8:31
  • focus on the exciting things. When the scary things start to overwhelm me, I try and think of everything I'm excited about. There's always something to look forward to, often lots of things, and focusing on these helps me put the worry back in perspective and see this opportunity for what it is; an OPPORTUNITY
Woah this has turned out to be a long post, and still it's a massively simplified version of all my thoughts and feelings relating to my YA; we'd be here all day - and probably in to next week - if I wrote down everything that's going through my head right now. And you'd probably be concerned I was going insane. So I'll leave it there, but I hope this has helped any future year abroaders...emotional roller coasters are very normal pre-departure it seems!!

Wednesday 15 July 2015

Mum and Katie explore Rennes

So, I have returned from my first wanderings in Rennes! I have literally experienced the full spectrum of human emotion in the last few days, and so this post could get quite long and detailed...so I will make sure I include lots of pictures to keep you amused. Here's the first one: one of my favourites of the main square in Rennes.

Place Sainte-Anne

So after a day full of apprehension, anticipation and aviation, we (that's me and my primary support machine, my Mum) arrived at our hotel late on Saturday night, and then Sunday morning was taken up with visiting the church I'm planning to go to next year. I had - probably unhelpfully - placed a lot of expectation on this, but fortunately we found it easily, and everyone was really friendly. We managed to speak to almost everyone, which was amazing, and we were never left not talking to anyone...people were so great at coming up and introducing themselves! Because it's the middle of summer, a lot of families and most of the students were away from Rennes, but the few students I did meet were so lovely and welcoming, and lots of the couples turned out to either have family in England or often one of the pair was actually English, which was reassuring for me as they really understood what I was going through, and especially reassuring for Mum, as it meant there were some people she could speak English to! My French seemed to keep up which was a relief; I sometimes found myself searching for a word or struggling with a verb conjugation, and occasionally I had to ask people to repeat things, but other than that it seemed OK! No completely blank faces greeted me, so that's a positive.

We had been invited to a picnic with one of the families after church, which was so kind of them, but in the end I decided it might be best to just go back to the hotel for a bit of a break...even though church had really reassured me, it was all quite overwhelming and tiring being in a church service entirely in French, and - as often happens when I'm nervous - I was feeling really sick and just generally exhausted. So we went back and had a regroup and a rest, and then once I had recovered a bit we went for an explore of the city. We managed to negotiate the metro (it's not hard it turns out...there's only one line, but still, it makes you feel like a local) and then had a general wander round. The city itself was really nice...full of picturesque little streets, wide boulevards and old buildings, and it even has a quay like Exeter (not quite as nice though)! And a great mix of authentically French boutiques and shops like Lush and Body Shop. Also lots of shops my Mum recognised from her youth...some parts were basically like 1980s England. In the best way.

One of the old streets



La République

The river

The Opera House

We chose one of the many (seriously, there are hundreds) crêperies to have our tea, which was delicious...I feel I may be having a lot of crêpes in the coming months.

Me at our favourite crêperie in Place Sainte-Anne
Monday started with trying - and failing - to find a café to have breakfast, and so we ended up getting some food in a supermarket down the road.  We managed to find ordinary milk and...wait for it...TETLEY ENGLISH BREAKFAST TEA BAGS. I will survive my year abroad it seems, as we have found it is possible to make a decent cup of tea in France!! All it took was a bit of searching and English know-how...my Mum is literally a tea expert, so she perfected a French tea-making method for me.

After our breakfast, I must admit I had a bit of a wobbler. I just had one of those moments where I stressed that 7 months was a very long time, and it was all too different, and I couldn't deal with it. But Mum really helped me put it all in perspective...7 months will go very quickly once the first few weeks have gone, and we looked back at Freshers last year (see my blog post about it here) and how hard that was, but how happy I was once I had done it. For all the great 'God really carried me through this' stories, there had to be a 'oh my gosh I can't do this' beginning.

After that we got the metro down to the uni and had a little look round, and I have to say, the campus was so much nicer than I was expecting!! It had a lovely nice campusy-feel, and was really green, so that was a pleasant surprise!

The main building



I recognised this from the website!

We could almost be in Exeter...

My flat is literally 2 mins away (you can see the campus from my bedroom window) which is amazing, and the flat itself was great...really clean, everything's included, and my room was such a good size! Plus the landlady was really friendly, and she told me both my flatmates will be French, which is SUCH a bonus. Massive answer to prayer there! The rest of the day was really just taken up with looking round the area round my apartment, which had a great atmosphere as its slightly outside the main city centre, but still only 10 mins on the metro, and a big supermarket and shops nearby. It sounds ridiculous, but I was very excited to find home comforts like my regular moisturiser and shampoo, Pringles and Ben and Jerry's in the supermarket! It's the little things.

Ma chambre

La cuisine

So that's a summary of our weekend! Overall it was a really positive experience, and although I had my moments, for the most part it made the YA less of a completely unknown entity, and really encouraged me that I can actually do this. It's still scary, and much more real now, but I have 6 weeks to gear myself up before I start, and at least now I have some sort of feel for the city which will be my home for 7 months! I shall probably do a few more posts as I prepare to fly out, but until then, à bientôt. 

Monday 25 May 2015

My little French 'appartement'

So I have some exciting news...I have a room in a shared flat in Rennes!! The way this came about is such a testament to prayer and God's incredible faithfulness: let me lay it out for you.

I'll start right at the beginning. I found a Newfrontiers (a UK movement of evangelical churches) church in Rennes - which in itself was amazing - and checked out their website. It looked fantastic. Not huge, but big enough, and with a real family atmosphere. They also had a good group of students, lots of different nationalities, and great comments from people who had found a temporary home and family there. So I got in touch with them, and one of the leaders replied...he was so friendly and helpful, and asked if there was anything they could do. I mentioned I was looking for accommodation, and he put me in touch with one of their students who is currently on a YA in Rennes but will be going home in August, and so would be leaving his room free.

This seemed like an obvious answer to prayer, and so after a quick email conversation with him, I contacted his landlady about the room. He had mentioned that someone else was also interested and seemed quite keen, so I decided to just bite the bullet and email the landlady asking about the room's availability, and then leave the rest to God. I prayed that He would show me the right place for me to be, and it seemed He did, because I got a reply from her just a few hours later. She said that although the room I was asking about was gone, she had another apartment which had rooms available; closer to the uni, and with the realistic possibility of having 2 French flatmates, which the other apartment didn't have. So I decided to take it!!

It's literally 2 minutes from my uni, and yet still 10 minutes on the metro from the city centre, and comes fully furnished and ready for me to move in, which is amazing! Plus all my bills are included, which means I don't have to worry about sorting all those things out when I arrive! So it seems ideal...very exciting! It's such a massive relief to have a room sorted out, as the idea of arriving in France with nowhere to sleep that night was pretty terrifying! The fact that the church seems so welcoming and family-focused is also such a blessing and encouragement, as it will hopefully not only give me a chance to practise my French with native speakers, but also mean I have a ready-made community outside the university in an environment which I am used to, and other Christians around to support me.

I'm hoping to fly out to Brittany in July sometime to check out the city, university and possibly my apartment, but until then, au revoir mes chéries.