Exploration...and lots of photos!

Today Ellie and I decided to take advantage of probably one of the last sunny days before winter starts to kick in, and go for a picnic in one of the parks in Rennes. We got the metro to Sainte Anne in the centre of town, and then walked to Parc du Thabor, which is (I think?) the biggest park in the city centre (there is another massive one just outside the city, which is on my bucket list!). I had seen photos of it on Google and it looked stunning, and definitely didn't disappoint! It was kind of divided into sections: the French-looking section, complete with an orangerie...

And then a more English-looking section, with a big lawn and tall trees round the side...

And finally a woodland type section, with gravel paths and lots of trees, like the grounds of a National Trust house:

A random bird house

A super cute little hideaway!

I felt very French with my baguette and cheese and my little French cakes, on a picnic blanket in a park just like all the other French people around us! Except then a park attendant person came and told us that picnic blankets weren't allowed on this section of grass...whereas the section just over there was fine. It literally made no sense, but as everyone else got up to leave, we thought we probably should too!

Ellie and our picnic blanket!

After we had finished our picnic, we had a wander round the park, and then came out and explored the streets around the main entrance. We happened to come across the other garden we had wanted to visit, Jardin Saint Georges, which is in front of an amazing palace. The garden is much smaller and more ordered, but really pretty nonetheless, and the palace was stunning. It seems to be currently used as a police station, which seems a bizarre use for it!

I was also slightly confused to see what I'm convinced was a patch of chillies in the flower bed...can someone with a bit more horticultural knowledge tell me if they are in fact chillies?!

After this chili (apparently that's how you spell it) confusion, we continued wandering down to République and then back up to Sainte Anne, which is the centre of the historic bit of the city, and an area we know pretty well now! However, Ellie did show me this AMAZING chocolate shop which I hadn't seen before: rows upon rows of incredible flavours of macarons, pic n mix chocolates, biscuit boxes, little multi-coloured meringues, and pots of salted caramel...which came with a tiny silver spoon to eat it with. Or probably to spoon it onto stuff with, but I would just use it to eat the caramel straight out of the pot to be honest. I will leave you with a couple of pictures from this amazing gem of a shop, which I will most definitely be visiting again soon!

A bientôt!

The rainbow after the rain

So the last couple of weeks have been tough, to say the least. Moving your entire life to another country is really hard, no matter what your expectations, and it takes a while to adjust. I felt like I did everything I could to prepare, and tried to be as realistic as possible once I arrived, but it's still been really hard. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm miserable all the time, or that everything is awful...it's just that a lot of normal things suddenly become really difficult, and when you leave your family, friends, country and life all behind, it can be hard to pick yourself up after those things the way you would at home. Safe to say, the last couple of weeks have felt like a bit of an uphill struggle in many ways. I had been praying every day for a breakthrough, just something to really encourage me and keep me going, because I had started to feel like I was running really low on energy and finding it hard to carry on.

And today, that breakthrough came.

I woke up this morning with a sore throat, a headache, and the beginnings of a cold (not an ideal start), but I went to church anyway, planning to sleep it off later in the day. On the way there, I was listening to this song by Kari Jobe, and these lyrics really stood out to me:

"When I waited so long, when my tears were my song

With my hope nearly gone You held me God...

Your songs have never stopped

You've been singing, always singing over me"

This song is so full of joy, and I found myself thinking, 'I can't wait to be in that place again where I feel that joyful, and can truly praise Him for how He has come through for me'. I imagined myself being back in Exeter (I'm going back for a visit in just under 5 weeks) and feeling that bubble of happiness because I know He has carried me through. I've always thought I would have these amazing stories of incredible things He has brought out of this year: of how I trusted Him and He used that for His glory. But so far I don't have any miraculous stories like that. And it made me feel like I was wasting my time.

I arrived at church, and immediately someone came and started chatting to me, and she remembered me from my visit with Mum in July. I sat next to a lovely woman through the service, and another lady came to pray for me as well, so by the time the service ended I was already feeling encouraged. But after the service, so many people came and introduced themselves, and were just so friendly and interested: there was no reserve or formality, they were just so eager to welcome me in. People were introducing me to other students, and constantly coming and introducing themselves and asking me about my studies and where I was from. It turns out the woman I was sat next to works for a group called Agape, who - amongst other things - organise events for young Christians in Rennes, and she quickly asked if I wanted to be involved, and someone else came came up to me and another student and asked if we would like to be in a small group. I was really keen to get involved in church, but - as with everything else over the last few weeks - I thought I would have to go through a long and arduous journey in order to get it. The relief of having someone else take the initiative, and do all the organising on my behalf, was incredible. The combination of feeling so included, people's friendliness, and just the fact that people would literally be lining up to introduce themselves or would readily join in a conversation to make sure they didn't miss saying hello, meant that I left really feeling like I was on Cloud Nine. I know it sounds like such a small and insignificant thing, but I had spent weeks feeling like the awkward foreigner, and feeling so frustrated that everything was so hard and seemingly everyone was against me, that people going out of their way to include me, and not waiting for me to ask but offering help readily was honestly the most refreshing thing in the world.

As I walked away, I just couldn't stop smiling. I put my headphones back on, and listened to the song again: except this time, I really related to the words. He had brought me that breakthrough I had been praying for and eagerly awaiting, and I felt for the first time truly happy in France. I'm glad there wasn't anyone around, because I was singing along under my breath and laughing to myself all along the pavement...it was all I could do to keep myself from dancing down the road!!

This is definitely not the end of the difficulties: rather, the end of the beginning, but God is finally starting to show me what I might be doing here. And He's already taught me that hard as it is doing admin, and making new friends, and adjusting to a new culture...joy is always found in Him, and Him alone. Those other things going well all help a lot, but the only thing that has given me true joy here is a real connection with Him. If I have that and nothing else, I can be happy, but I have found that if I have everything except that, I never am. It took stripping everything else away, removing every other support, to make me realise how firm a foundation He truly is.

Sorry that this has become such a ramble, but I needed to share it, and often these kind of things are hard to properly explain!! But let me leave you with one simple thing I've learned through all this pain. Whether you know God or not, wherever you are in life, whatever you feel you need: believe. I promise He will come through for you, however long it takes.

Lesson Number One (like a rock, you must be hard...)

This post is about my first day of teaching here in Rennes (and also a play on the words of the song from Mulan, hence the title...but the lyrics are strangely appropriate!! It's all about being tough and brave, but also gentle and at peace...something I am definitely working on learning!) It was definitely a day of ups and downs, and so I thought it might be an interesting one to write about!

I only have 5 contact hours per week; 3 hours on a Tuesday, 1 on a Wednesday, and 1 on a Thursday. And then a 4 day weekend: perfect for travelling around and exploring! So this Tuesday just gone was my first official day after the craziness of signing up for all my classes on Monday, which we just about managed! I started with a TD (aka a seminar for all you British people, except there's about 40-50 students in each class!) in Méthodologie l'oral et l'écrit, which is basically how to survive oral exams (a common method of assessment here in all departments, not just languages) and written projects, and very useful for non-French speakers like myself! However, I didn't get off to a great start.

I got to the room about 10 minutes early and saw a crowd of students waiting outside so, obviously, I joined them, but then I saw someone else going in to my classroom. Confused, I asked the girl next to me if she was waiting for the same room as me, but she said she wasn't. Slightly panicked, I knocked and went in, only to find that the class had already started and the teacher was not impressed by the fact that I was late. I was even MORE confused because according to my phone, I was still a minute early, but I was definitely in the right class, so I did the walk of shame up to the front of the class and sat down. It later transpired that my phone was 4 minutes slow, hence my confusion! Anyway, the class was fine, and being at the front actually really helped me understand everything more easily! A lot of it was stuff I have already covered in Exeter, so that was reassuring...the girl next to me even asked me for help at one stage, and, even more shockingly, I seemed to give her the right answer!! The girl the other side of me showed me what exercise we were meant to be doing so I didn't get totally lost, so overall, not too bad. Class 1, check!

I then went to the library to go over my notes from the class before my next lecture, and then left a full 25 minutes early to make sure I wasn't late again. I found the lecture theatre easily enough - double doors with a sign saying Amphi B2 next to them - and I went in. There weren't many people sat down, but I was super early, so I selected a seat near the front and sat down to wait. However later on - with just three minutes to go until we were supposed to start - there were still very few people, so I asked the girl next to me if she was here for Littérature française. She wasn't. It turned out I was actually sitting in lecture theatre 3...the double doors in fact go to two different rooms, even though there is only one sign. So I grabbed my stuff and dashed next door, to find that - once again - my class had already started. Luckily the lecturer did not stop the lecture this time to highlight my embarrassment, and I just snuck in at the back. Phew. But I now realised my bigger predicament: because I was right at the back, I couldn't hear anything the lecturer was saying, much less understand it. One hour later, I had written down a random assortment of any words I could pick up, three names, and the fact that I needed to buy and read some books: but I didn't know which ones. Needless to say, I was somewhat demoralised.

I then returned to the library to try and make at least some sense of my notes before the TD that afternoon, and discovered that the three names I had written down were (I think?) the authors of the texts I need to read, but as he hadn't written the titles down on the board, I was still really none the wiser. I actually managed to get to this next class problem-free, which was a definite improvement, and although I could hear fairly clearly and understood a good chunk, there were definitely sections I didn't get. Hopefully none of the stuff I didn't get was too important!! It didn't help that I really struggled to read the teacher's writing on the board, but I have emailed him asking for a bibliography/any key points I might have missed, so hopefully I will be up to date by next week!

Anyway, a combination of the day's dramas, not understanding a fair amount, and missing uni life at home got me a bit down during the evening...so I must admit, I wallowed. Sometimes you need to just dust yourself off and get straight back out there, but other times you need to embrace the struggles, deal with them, and gear yourself up to face a new day. Both a Skype chat with my Mum and a friend from home, and a message to some of my other friends asking them to pray for me later, and I felt ready to face another day. It reminded me of this great quote I read on Pinterest a few weeks ago: 'Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow"'. So I did...and today was much better.

So when things get tough, take a leaf out of Mulan's book: get yourself together, put a brave face on, and trust that, with a bit of help, you will eventually come out the other side. Lesson Number One.

I've survived Week 1! And French life snapshot 1

So Week 1 is done!! I can't quite believe it to be honest! So in honour of this achievement, I am starting a new segment thingy to document my YA. Every few weeks I will do a post like this, with three sections: cultural differences I've noticed, language milestones or words and phrases I've picked up, and things I'm feeling grateful for. Consider it a little look into the world of the Frenchies (hence the name). Here goes!


Cultural Curiosities:

• organisation. This is a big one. I just, I can't even explain how illogical a lot of French bureaucracy is. And how ridiculously complicated. You know when you're nervous about doing something official like going to the bank or something in the UK, and you know it's silly, and once it's done you walk out and say 'well, that was easy!'. Those days are a think of the past for me, my friend. Only once have I even vaguely thought that here. I'm pretty sure most people in France rarely experience that feeling. I have many many more, but I'm going to give you just one example. We've been waiting all week for the uni to give us our timetables, and then the other day we discovered: we don't get timetables. The administrative people seem to have absolutely no knowledge regarding what modules we want to/can do - despite us having submitted 2 learning agreements with complete module lists on both - and therefore we have to choose our modules this week, then on Monday morning (when classes are meant to start...not sure what we do if we then discover we're meant to have a class then!) go and look on the massive emploi de temps boards with ALL the department's classes on (that's right, EVERY SINGLE ONE) and find the correct lecture, then go to each departmental secretary, inform them of our choices, and they will allocate us a seminar group. If we have a clash, we have to go back and ask to be put in a different group. No idea how they know whether we're going to classes we're actually allowed to go to (despite this relaxed system, there are still rules on what we can and can't take), or even how they know if we're going any to classes AT ALL. Anyway, that will be a fun experience!
• pedestrian crossings. I'm not sure if pedestrians actually have right of way at crossings, because most of the time cars just don't slow down, even if you are evidently waiting to cross/have actually starting crossing. So what's the point in having them? Also, the French don't seem to wave to say thank you to drivers when they let them cross...I've stopped doing it now, because the drivers looked at me confusedly, and now I feel really rude every time I cross the road
• bathrooms. Our flat has a toilet at one end of the flat, and a bathroom with a sink and shower at the other end. Apparently this is completely normal here, but I can't help thinking it's pretty unhygienic, and kind of weird. 

Linguistic Lessons:

• French people talk fast, and it's OK to not understand everything. I rarely understand every word someone says to me, but that's alright. I've only been here a week, and already I feel like my listening is so much better: I can pretty much always get the gist of things, and can understand each word if I really really think about it, but then of course I miss the next bit. The point isn't to dissect every verb of tense use, but to concentrate on being able to work out the main meaning and then to respond appropriately. I find that the more I do that, the more comfortable I feel interacting in French, and the easier it is.
• coucou and tac. These are two words that I have heard used a fair bit 'on the street' here (this is obviously not literal...I have not become some edgy, alternative, cool person since moving to France). My flatmate says coucou a lot as a sort of less formal version of 'hi', kind of like we would say 'hiya' or something in the UK. The other word is tac, which I think is less of a word and more of a sort of 'filler', like we say 'so' or 'well'. French people seem to use this in all sorts of contexts, but it seems to used predominantly when they are completing a step-by-step task, and they accomplish a stage. For example, if they are filling in a form, they say tac after they finish a section: sort of like we say 'there we go' in a running commentary as we do something. I feel like saying these things will make me sound very Frenchified, so I'm working up to using them...I'm just a bit scared I will use them wrong and look like an arrogant English girl trying to be too clever, and instead falling flat on her face.
• the more you listen, the better your accent will inherently become. I haven't been consciously focusing on my accent or pronunciation, or been doing any specific listening practise, but just from being here I feel like I have absorbed the French accent, and I'm starting to hear and feel the benefits in my own speech (I know saying it 'feels' easier might sound a bit weird..I mean the sounds are easier to make now, for example the French 'r').

Things I'm grateful for:

• my fantastic family and friends at home. It's true that you really find out how much you love the people you love when you're away from them, and even more so when you are going through something hard. My family and friends have supported me in the best way possible, by remembering what I'm doing, sending encouraging messages, praying for me and clearing their schedules to skype or chat to me. I would not be coping like I am without their backing!
• our amazing mentors here in Rennes. My marraine was so happy to help out with anything, and gave me her number to text with anything, and Ellie's godmother took us for lunch and then helped me open a bank account...a complicated and confusing process which would have been much more so without her there to explain things to me! Also, my lovely flatmate, who has been so patient with my ums and ahs and grasping around for verb forms and phrases, taught me new words, and helped me understand French culture when I was confused. And she has always been there for a chat when I felt homesick, which has made our flat feel much more homely!
• friendly French people who understand I need them to speak SLOWLY and CLEARLY. Some French people seem to have two settings when it comes to non-French speakers: carry on speaking French as quickly as you would to a native and expecting you to just keep up, or 'I'm going to speak English because I fail to acknowledge the fact that you might actually have the ability to speak my language, because you're English'. Obviously this is definitely not ALL French people, just some. And it's super annoying. So I am very grateful for friendly assistants who accept that I'm English but trying my best to speak French, bear with me and try to understand what I mean!
• I can watch Bake Off here. And Ellie loves it just as much as I do, so I have someone to watch it with who takes it all as seriously as I do. Enough said: I'm over the moon.

I feel like the image of Mary, Paul, pastry and the tent is a good one with which to leave you...so until  the next time, mes amis!

First post from LA FRANCE!! Days 1 and 2

Just a disclaimer: this is very much a blow-by-blow detailed account of my first couple of days in Rennes...more general posts will follow later!

Oh. My. Gosh. What a crazy few days it's been!! So much has happened that I'm not quite sure how it will fit in one readable post; I will inevitably miss some things out, so if you are a future Year Abroader/concerned family member or friend, please drop me a message so I can fill you in on more details!

So the journey was...interesting. I knew I would be pretty terrified, but I don't think I have ever felt more unsettled, ill (anxiety tends to go straight to my stomach and make me sick!) and gut-wrenchingly worried in my life. I knew I would have to deal with this year one day at a time, but at that moment I was literally having to take it half an hour at a time. I was basically a complete mess; up until departure day I had really tried to stay strong and calm and be really grown-up and controlled about the whole thing, but my resolve just completely crumbled that morning, and my Mum had to literally coax me onto the plane. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but the way I got through it was just by never thinking further ahead than I could handle, by praying, and through the unfailing strength and encouragement of my insane parents. I have rarely been so grateful for them!! This is me being terrified and trying to sleep at the airport, and pretend like it wasn't happening:

Photo 1 of my YA: general terror

Anyway, I thought that was important to say that in the interests of honesty! We got a taxi to my flat to drop off my luggage and then went to check in at my parents' hotel room, mostly because I was absolutely shattered (I got about 2 hours sleep the night before) and feeling really ill still, and just needed some recuperation time! We then returned to unpack my stuff, and I am really pleased with my room now...it's really cosy, and has lots of things to remind me of home. Basically loads of photos and fairy lights: if only I had Instagram...

Unpacking

Mood lighting on, and starting to relax

Mum then carried on unpacking (thanks Mum!) and I read some YA blogs, as I was still feeling a bit wobbly, and reading other people's experiences is one of my go-to pick me ups. Works pretty much every time! Not sure what I will do when I run out, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it (that phrase incidentally is steadily becoming my YA mantra). We had dinner at the hotel, but I didn't have much, and then I had ANOTHER panic moment as I started to think about how I was going to settle in to routine, and how different life was here, so Mum and Dad walked me back to my apartment. I then had a lovely conversation with my French flatmate until the early hours, about France, the UK, university, tea and missing home, which really encouraged me and made me feel much more at home in my flat! Of course then I started panicking that my French wasn't good enough, despite having had an intelligible conversation for coming up to 2 hours all in French, but there we go. Day 1 was done.

So that brings us on to DAY 2. I woke up feeling really thirsty due to all my vomiting the day before, and feeling a bit 'oh my goodness where am I? Wait, am I in France? Oh my goodness this is crazy!!'. But going to see Mum and Dad at their hotel chilled me out a bit, and after we had been to my local Carrefour for some basics we had a cup of tea and something to eat with my flatmate, in a weird concoction of French and English!

Mum and I making tea in my kitchen

I then went to campus to meet a friend from back home in Exeter who is also at Rennes 2 this year, and we went to get signed up for events this week. The queue took a while to get through, but we met some other Erasmus students from the UK and the US whilst waiting and chatted to them about how confusing it all was to pass the time! I felt a lot better once we had a basic timetable for the week, and having chatted to Ellie and shared our experiences, and then I went out for dinner with my parents to our favourite crêperie (still haven't eaten anywhere else in Rennes...should probably get on that!).

Mum and Dad at the crêperie

A slightly less terrified-looking me

The evening however did not end brilliantly, as I got stressed about the prospect of having to open a bank account in French and realising I didn't really have a clue how the French banking system works, so Mum and Dad came back with me again to keep me company. When I got back, I prayed and then read a Bible passage my friend from home had messaged me with earlier, telling me to read it. It was Psalm 91, and it was completely perfect for me: it really reassured me that God was looking out for me and that I could face the next couple of days without my parents, who were going home the following morning.

So there we go! My first two days in Rennes. I have spent so long wondering what these days might look like, and worrying about them, that to be finally started and getting through it all is definitely a relief, even if it's hard sometimes! It's been a complete roller coaster so far, but it's good to be ticking off the days now! Sorry that this has literally just been a list of what I've done and how I've felt, but I wish more posts like this had existed when I was getting ready to go so I could see how the first few days might be, so I thought it might be helpful! If it hasn't been, sorry. You've just wasted 5 minutes of your life. I can only apologise.

A bientôt!