Just a note to say hello...

Hello, and thankyou for reading my blog! (even if you are just here for a passing visit/because you got lost/looking for something else/because I have harassed you into taking a look!) This blog really only exists because I love to write, and talking/writing is how I process and make sense of things…I have been writing stuff for years even though nobody has ever really read it, but I have set this blog up because 1) I have become slightly addicted to reading other peoples' blogs and wanted my own, and 2) because they have helped me see things differently, and I want to do the same! I hope at least some of what I've written does this for you.

From July 2015, this blog is taking a bit of a break from its usual state, and becoming a travel blog (something I never thought I, Katie Watson, would ever write, but there we go) as I embark on my adventures across the Channel, and go and study in Brittany, France as part of my degree. I hope it helps any of you who are reading it whilst planning your own year abroad, and that the rest of you reading just for the entertainment factor are suitably amused by my attempts to understand the French mode de vie!

Monday 31 August 2015

Exciting Frenchy things

To be honest, this list is as much a reminder for me when I can't stop thinking about all the scary things as much as it is for your entertainment, but I thought it would be good for me to write down a few of the things I'm excited about before I go so I can look back on them halfway through or at the end of the year and see how many of them are still the same, and how many I managed to achieve!!

  • the food. Crêpes, French bread and cheese, hot chocolate out of bowls, pastries, boulangeries, patisserie...and best of all, REAL BRIOCHE. Enough said.
  • kisses on the cheek. I know this seems like a really weird thing to be looking forward to, but the lovely thing about the French greeting is that it completely avoids our awkward English I-don't-know-you-but-now-I've-been-in-this-group-too-long-to-introduce-myself pauses: if you don't know someone in a group, you introduce yourself there and then, and so no one ever feels like an awkward outsider. Plus you always know how to greet people, and there is something about the physical contact that makes you feel immediately closer to people. And it looks so European and sophisticated!
  • how adventurous it will make me look. I am generally terrified of change and new things, so the idea of having exciting Facebook photos and interesting stories from my travels, and being able to compare these with other brave travel-ly people is very exciting! And even when I come home...being able to just drop these stories in to conversation by saying 'well when I was living in France', because I was actually brave enough to do it! And I am SO excited to be able to explore Brittany and Paris and then visit my other YA friends and see new places. I just love the idea of seeming like one of those fearless people who travels loads and has amazing anecdotes. So not true, but that's what it will look like!
  • knowing France in the kind of way you only can if you've lived there. Being able to show my friends and family round, knowing the best cafés and shops, being able to order things fluently in French and explain the culture and etiquette to them, and then being able to talk about my YA when people talk about France and explain what it's really like
  • finding my routine. People keep telling me 'it will be amazing, don't worry', and I keep thinking 'but how do you know that??'. The truth is, they don't, but one thing I know for sure is that even if it never becomes amazing, it will become normal. I will find a weekly and daily routine, find my friends, have my room as a little safe space with all my homely things in it, get involved with church, and get used to speaking French all the time, and then once I've settled into a bit of normality I will know that the hard bit's over and I've done it!!
  • being bilingual!! I know this is a somewhat obvious one seeing as I'm a linguist and this is the whole point of my YA, but I honestly can't wait to be able to use all those little native-sounding idioms and chatter away easily in French without sounding really foreign
  • feeling really British. Coming home and watching British TV programmes or seeing British news stories or products or something whilst I'm abroad and being able to explain them to my French friends, or explaining an English phrase or custom and feeling really English and patriotic

These are the things that encourage and excite me when I feel a bit overwhelmed, and remind me how amazing the year abroad can be! I can't wait to get a few weeks in and begin to see these things start to happen!

Friday 21 August 2015

Pre-departure thoughts and feelings

As I write this, I have just over 2 weeks until I leave for France. Can't quite believe I just wrote that...how has this happened??! I can't believe how quickly time has gone, and that I'm already at the point of imminent departure for my year abroad. There was definitely a time when I honestly didn't think I would ever get this far; I really thought I would have chickened out by now. But I haven't!! So that's something...well done me, the hard part's over. As if. Anyway, I just thought I would share with you a few of my thoughts and emotions leading up to leaving. There's so much I could say about this, but I will try and condense it in to one vaguely readable post!

Generally I'm not quite as scared as I worried I might be at this stage. Things are starting to slot in to place and I'm crossing more and more things off my to do list, and although all these things do make the whole thing seem more real, they also help me to start imagining what life might be like in France. And it has to start feeling real at some point, preferably before I actually touch down at Rennes airport, just to save me from having a complete breakdown before we even leave the plane.

One of these 'real' things is the buddy scheme my uni in Rennes has in place, whereby each international student is allocated a marraine to help them with practical things and generally to settle in during the first few weeks. The word marraine doesn't really have a direct English translation; the closest we have is 'godmother', which just reminds me of Cinderella and makes me imagine my godmother as having a fairy wand and crown. Which isn't an unpleasant association...I love Cinderella, but chances are my godmother won't wear a crown on an everyday basis. But despite this, we have had a few email exchanges and she seems so lovely and friendly, and has offered to come with me and do all the scary things like opening a bank account and things so I don't get too confused!! So that is just amazing, and I'm very excited to meet her and her other 'godchildren' when I arrive; as well as me, she is also going to be looking after two girls from Brazil and Spain, which is exciting! This may also give me an opportunity to keep up my Spanish when I'm out there, just so I don't completely forget it all!

I am also FINALLY at the point where I have pretty much finished my pre-departure to-do list, having signed and sent my landlady the housing contract, filled in and sent my Erasmus forms to Rennes, re-applied for student finance, booked my flights, and bought things for my flat/ordered my photos to decorate my room with. All that's left is to organise how I'm going to get my keys to the flat, get Exeter to sign my Erasmus forms once Rennes return them, and see if I can take my guitar on the plane with me. The last one of these is obviously the most important; what will I do without Ed (named after Ed Sheeran) next year if I can't take him?! Stressful times.

So all this is very exciting, but what do you do when all the admin is done and all that's left on the list is to actually go? This is the bit that is currently freaking me out. I'm really enjoying being at home and just chilling with my family, but the idea of having to do this in 2 weeks is constantly there, and it is getting harder and harder not to worry and stress about it. There are some things I'm excited about, and a big part of me just wants to get on and do it now, and get the first few difficult weeks done, but still. Moving abroad is scary. Here's how I am trying (and probably failing) to cope:

  • skype. Both with my uni friends who are staying in Exeter next year, and those who are also going abroad; they offer different points of view, but both help you keep it all in perspective. Your friends at home reassure you that they won't forget you as soon as you leave, and your friends who are also going abroad remind you that you're not alone
  • ThirdYearAbroad. Similarly, the blogs and advice on this site encourage you that thousands of other students have done this before you and survived, and you can do it too
  • enjoy home. Make the most of watching your favourite films and programmes (ahem, Bake Off) with your family, going on days out together, and generally enjoying your last couple of weeks in the green and pleasant land that is England
  • don't think about it when you're feeling especially rubbish/about to go to sleep. I find that when I'm feeling worse than usual, for whatever reason, I tend to wallow and then think about how awful France is going to be, which is untrue, counter-productive, and totally unhelpful. It builds negative associations which you just don't need, and worrying about it as you are about to go to sleep just keeps you awake unnecessarily; again, not particularly helpful
  • I have a couple of key Bible verses which I cling to when I can't remember why I'm doing this, or start thinking I won't be able to get through it; sometimes all you can do is repeat them to yourself over and over until they start to sink in. My go-to ones are Isaiah 43:2, Psalm 46:1-2  and Romans 8:31
  • focus on the exciting things. When the scary things start to overwhelm me, I try and think of everything I'm excited about. There's always something to look forward to, often lots of things, and focusing on these helps me put the worry back in perspective and see this opportunity for what it is; an OPPORTUNITY
Woah this has turned out to be a long post, and still it's a massively simplified version of all my thoughts and feelings relating to my YA; we'd be here all day - and probably in to next week - if I wrote down everything that's going through my head right now. And you'd probably be concerned I was going insane. So I'll leave it there, but I hope this has helped any future year abroaders...emotional roller coasters are very normal pre-departure it seems!!